Disclaimer before I write anything else. I am fine. I love the Lord with all of my heart and soul, I love my wife Deb, and I continue to be blown away by how God continues to watch over our family. As for ministry I am blessed and I am grateful that God has given me the chance to serve as a pastor of a wonderful church with some wonderful folks. I am also grateful that God has opened up a door for me to serve as a part-time hospital chaplain while Debbie looks for a new teaching position. With that being said…

As I look at my life in a nutshell I have no complaints. I have been happily married to a wonderful and beautiful woman for almost 19 years. We get the God given honor of being able to raise some amazing kids. When it comes to lifes goals one sets, I browse through the last 40 years of my bookshelves of my heart and I must say I have met many of my goals. I also have many more to work on and I know God isn’t through with me when it comes to pastoral ministry and serving as a pastor. 

I turn 41 next week. Turning 40 was strange and I must say turning 41 is even stranger. I don’t feel that I’m a 41 year old although my body sometimes looks and feels like its 50. How do some of you older guys cope with this? Someone told me last year 40 is the new 27. How I wish! 

Over the next couple of weeks I will reflect on turning 41.

Let me say that as I think about turning 41 I have some mixed emotions. I am thrilled and at the same time I am beside myself that this train called “getting old,” is going way too fast.

I do know this…I am thankful…with joy and happiness I am thankful for what God has done for me. 

I give you these two folks who are just way too awesome and who are leading many in the kingdom to the throne of God. 

Very cool. We have seriously pondered going to the other side. Forgive us almighty PC. Change is coming.

ht:ysmarko

God is always at work. I affirm this with all of my heart. I believe God is still working in my life and the feeling is surreal as I think about this post. Some of these thoughts aren’t really new to some of you. I’ve shared in previous posts these reflections.

This post is unique.

A very long time ago I wondered upon the campus of a church that I’ve come to love very much. It’s my home away from home. I’ve always loved this church. It’s composed of people who’ve become some of our dearest friends.

There are people in this church who have no clue and don’t even realize how much of an impact they’ve made on my life for Christ. I am a follower of Jesus, husband, father, and pastor because of how some of these people were used in my life by Christ.

When I was a Jr. High kid there were two places I could be found.

The boulevard or at church.

This past Wednesday I had an experience that was so surreal that I felt I was in a scene out of the matrix. It happened again on Friday and even on Saturday morning.

I dropped my kids off with some friends of theirs at this church for a youth group function.  At this church there is a room where the youth function took place. This room always takes me back to my life as a kiddoe.

This room was where I learned from folks that I was loved and valued by Christ.

It was a room where I learned how to play guitar and lead worship. It was a room where I earned a Holy Land coin from my 7th grade Sunday school teacher if I memorized scripture. It was a room where I heard good news as a youth that Jesus loved me and would be faithful in the midst of the joys and struggles of life. It was even the room where I served with my wife in ministry prior to us getting married, helping her run an after school children’s program for the neighborhood.

This week our two boys got introduced to this room. They were introduced to people who continue the vision of loving kids and giving Jesus to them by showing them simple acts of kindness. Seeds of faith planted into their hearts.

As I drove off after dropping them off, I couldn’t help but remember the emptiness I had as a kid not having parents who were available and who showed up as parents. As I drove off I was overwhelmed with God’s blessing that although I didn’t have my parents, that I had the church, the kingdom of God here on earth filing that hole in my heart. As I drove off I was tickled pink that my wife and I get to be parents of some awesome gifts from upon high. As I drove off, I felt grateful that the Lord of the universe, through the work of the church, saved my life. And as I drove off I was overwhelmed with joy that the seeds of faith that were planted in my heart as a youth, were being planted and rooted in the hearts of our kids. Seeds of faith that I took from people who loved me and that we gave and still give and will give to our kids as parents.

And it all began in that room in 1982.

Surreal.

Have you ever wished that you could rewind your day by just ten minutes? Day started off pretty well. Began with a trip to the gym which has been a blessing to me in disguise. Proceeded to drop something off for my wife at her classroom. Next stop? The neighborhood watering hole for my daily cafe misto. I caught a glimpse of the paper and read the fear and concern that the Laker’s could be eating humble pie. Exited the watering hole to my car. Got in my car and slowly backed out into a beautiful little sports car driven by a college kid who happened to park his car against an Island in the parking lot (right behind me of course). The day continued with a joyful trip to an awards ceremony for our 8th grader who received a couple of awards that made me want to shout and scream with praise. He received some kind of Presidents Achievement Merit Award thingy and some award with a 4.0 on it. The awards ceremony trumped my little morning dance with a sports car at Starbucks. Praising God for the kiddoes. Finished the day with some phone calls, a brief meeting, and a trip to the hospital to do a visitation, and a really yummy carnitas burrito from the near by greasy spoon Mexican food restaurant.

Still running with my eyes to the sky! It’s just one of those days.

For close to 15 years my wife has worked in public education. She’s taught in public schools both here in California and in New Jersey. She’s an awesome elementary school teacher and God has blessed her with a tremendous amount of gifts when it comes to teaching. Both parents and children have been impacted by her teaching. I’ve witnessed first hand her teaching abilities in the classroom.

Over the last several months one of the hot topics in California has been public education and the budget cuts that have and will take place all over the state. We’ve seen this before and have heard about the cuts over the years. She’s always been safe from any district budget cuts until this year of course. My wife and at least 58 other teachers in her district have been issued pink slips. I know there are other districts that are also issuing pink slips.

You never think about the possibility of loosing your job until it happens to you. I think that’s what’s exhausting. It becomes real when your one of the ones facing the possibility of unemployment for whatever reasons. What’s even harder not only for my wife, but for others, is that there are some really good teachers who care about the promises they made to themselves and to the kids and parents they serve every day that when they come to work that they are more than just prepared to teach; that they’re ready to make a difference in a child’s life.

When we relocated back to So. Cal we very much trusted that God would provide for our family. Even before we made the move back my wife was hired by the school district she currently teaches in. This is how we knew that we possibly were making the right decision to come back home. God has always been at the helm of any transition we’ve been part of over the years. Every move we’ve made my wife has been blessed with a teaching position or other employment. This is how I know that she’s more than just a gifted teacher. This is also why we aren’t stressing yet. Although tempting.

Faith is more than our bandage right now. It’s our strength. It’s always been our strength. And with the given events in the other parts of the world like Myanmar and the loss and suffering that others are enduring in our own country in the mid-west, because of weather it puts things in perspective. It keeps me from making this post all about the issues and politics at hand especially when it comes to public education right now. It keeps me from thinking of the worst case scenarios for myself in my current call as a pastor and for my family.

My prayer for those who teach and who’ve been affected by the state wide budget cuts is that you will find the strength and hope needed that God will provide for you as God has provided always for my wife and family. My prayer is also that those who’ve been called to make the tough decisions will listen to God and will take into account all of the scenarios not only for those who are good at what they do as teachers who will eventually find new employment, but the kids and parents who were looking forward and hoping to have the best of the best teachers who do more than just teach. Parents and kids who were looking forward to the blessing of being blessed by teachers who care about making a difference in a child’s life.

What if pastors were to live honestly before the people of God? Lives unashamed of revealing to the world the reality that we don’t have it all together. We think, feel, and breathe the same kinds of things that every other person sitting in the pews encounters on any given day.

I was talking with a close friend of mine this afternoon and the discussion came up that the pastor needs to be able to reveal to his or her congregation a kind of authenticity that makes a clear statement that we don’t profess having it all together. To go one step further, that within the proclamation of the word, the good news of Christ’s love, that every sermon I preach should include my willingness to be authentic as a way of illustrating the message of God’s love. Transparency of mind and spirit, coming to the table, letting it all hang out, making the word come alive for the sake of the gospel being heard and received in a way that convicts the hearts and minds of God’s people.

My preaching professor in seminary always commented that he’d rather have folks leave church after every sermon with two or three ideas that were easily remembered as opposed to an exegesis of the word “chair.” I wonder if the pastor should take it one step further? How about two or three ideas that reveal God’s heart for God’s people and that are made applicable through the pastors willingness to be authentic?

What does it really mean to be authentic when it comes to preaching?

It means that somehow with God’s help, power, and the Spirit of God always working in the preparation of the sermon, that I somehow tell the ego that burdens me daily to take a hike. Get honest. Be real. And don’t be ashamed to allow my heart to speak through the word God has given me on any particular Sunday.

Now in my quest to becoming the lean mean machine I am I was recently driving through the good old Antelope Valley and noticed a sign that was advertising , “the four minute workout.” Now mind you I’d love to only workout for four minutes. I have lots to do every day. Its hard enough to get on the treadmill for at least thirty minutes. Now if you’re interested, you can even buy the machine for a little over $14,000.00. I think I will stick to my treadmill and to my snappy snap fitness work out facility with the cool snap fitness staff who make working out a blast.

My regular cafe misto is enough to keep me through the day.

Upon occasion the late afternoon requires a quick boost.
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HT: ipastor

(This is a painting that my friend Jenny Smith painted of the pulpit at Princeton that I preached from on one occasion)

Something I’ve come to appreciate in my short time as a solo pastor are the opportunities when folks are able to fill the pulpit for me on any given Sunday. I enjoy preaching every Sunday. Whatever the season might be. Advent, Lent, and Easter and everything and anything in between. I’ve had a couple of our church members preach this past year and a couple of good friends of mine. Over the next two month I’m having some folks fill the pulpit for me. It will give me a chance to be fed and to listen. It will also give me a chance to connect with those hanging in the pews. Something that sometimes is hard to do when you’re helping lead worship.