I must confess I am not a blogger of worthy status. I admit I fell into the “fad” of blogging a few years ago and yes I do more on Facebook than blogging. Sometimes I don’t know if I have much to offer to the blogging world. I don’t have the time and the brain power to write and to reflect on the issues of the day.

Here are a couple of thoughts I have kicked around these last few weeks. I have learned that I am a better pastor when I am practicing the art of being intentional with family, friends, and most of all church folks. When I was a youth growing up in a large church what I remember most about those who I considered mentors was the mere fact that they were always present. Presence is a gift and I can count at least a dozen folks who were very present in my life from youth leaders to youth pastors. These folks understood what it meant to be intentional.

As I got older I don’t think I ever got a phone call or a visit from any of my pastors. I don’t even remember getting a note. I do remember one of my pastors taking me out for a steak dinner to celebrate something. It was a great dinner. The steak was awesome and the potato was as big as my left foot. To be honest though I don’t remember the reason why we went out, I just remember that he was being intentional with me. I remember another pastor and his wife taking us out to dinner just as I was departing for seminary. We talked mostly about what it is like to be in ministry and the joys and struggles of being a pastor and for Debbie the joys and struggles of being a pastors wife. Again, don’t remember details, just remember that this pastor was intentional with us.

I remember another senior pastor I served with in New Jersey while I was in seminary. I was an intern and I had the chance to watch him from afar. He wasn’t the greatest at preaching. He wasn’t the most charismatic of persons. His gift was that he was intentional with those he pastored. He always remembered names. I remember one church member saying to me, ” We continue to come here because the pastor remembered our names.” The man actually helped the church through a building campaign and both he and an awesome associate pastor led the church with the gift of intentionality.

So? What am I learning right now in my life?

Be intentional.

It might be the best gift of bringing about peace and reconciliation to anything I will ever do as a pastor.

Word on the street?

It acutally works. Am I still growing? Will I forget what matters most to being a Christ follower especially a pastor when it comes to being intentional with those I’ve been called to pastor and lead? Yup! At least today it feels good to know that it does actually work.

I’ve thought a lot about this all day. This idea that we pastors who’ve sensed God’s call to full-time ministry have some how entered the “big show?” Let me be clear that I’m not trying to say that we in the pastorate are better than those in the pews. I don’t want to be better. I had a professor in seminary talk about the preacher rising up from the pews to bring good news is where good news really should come from. His point being that the preacher is just like me. He or she deals with the same things I deal with. His thought also was that we’ve placed so much focus on the person sitting above us, in an elevated position on a Sunday morning, rising to the raised pulpit in the sky, that we’ve forgotten that there was a time in which the people of God would rise from the midst of community to proclaim God’s mission. This big show metaphor points me back to a time in my life as a youth where I got to watch some wonderful people in leadership positions. These folks were awesome in their presentation of the gospel. I looked up to them. I wanted to do what they were doing. I wanted to be part of a life changing experience that would impact the world for Christ and these folks were good at what they did and I myself was impacted or I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing in the church today.

I can even remember way back as a youth growing up in the church, attending church youth camps and I’d watch those putting on the big show and wondered what it would be like to be the one up front. I’d look at these folks with awe and thought they were some kind of “super” Christians. I thought that if I only could do what they were doing I’d be super Christian guy too. My first summer serving on staff at this same youth camp I attended as a kid and that I truly love with all of my heart, I saw a different side of the “super Christian.” I was kicked out of my box of “naiveté.” I was about 17 ½ years old and worked as a dishwasher all summer long at this camp. It was where I learned what it meant to really be in ministry. This is where it took place for me. 300-400 persons a week, three meals a day, 5-6 days per week, you do the math. That was a whole lot of dish washing.

I have to confess, I was so jealous of the folks up stairs and up front that there were days I wondered if I’d ever be doing what they were doing in ministry. Something happened though that first summer serving on staff at that camp. I realized that the folks who were up front, upstairs, doing the big show stuff, that I wanted to do so badly, were just like me. When I was older and when I had my first opportunity of serving in the church as a full-time youth director I was also blown away. This image I had was wrong and unfair. There were people full of sin and as broken as the next person. They were me. This was hard to swallow. I had placed these folks on such a high pedestal I felt guilty. What hit me though was that they were just as much in need of restoration of the soul as I was. They hurt and confronted their own stuff. They dealt with real life issues and struggled with many of the same things I’d struggle with. But they were always ready to be sent out on God‘s mission. Ready to respond to the ministry of proclamation. Ready to serve and love as Jesus loved, even in spite of what was happening in their own lives.

This is why I do what I do. I feel in some ways I’ve risen up from the pews like those I’ve watched over the years do the same. They’ve inspired me to keep doing what I‘m doing. Being with the people of God at the ground level. This is where change takes place in a persons life. This is where it happens. This where God works. This is where I get to hear how God is working. Maybe what I’m learning is that the really big show stuff happens in the pews. Not in the pulpit. Not elevated up high where the one who proclaims good news looks down upon the people. The one who proclaims good news needs to know what it’s like to rise up from the pews. In some ways the one who proclaims good news sometimes needs to go back to where it all began for them on that day God called them from their brokenness to tell others of the peace of Christ that restores the soul. This is where God works and moves. Not at the top. Not up front. But from the pews. The big show stuff I guess really happens in the pews. This is where I need to get the pulse of the church from. Maybe this is the ticket in bringing hope to the church, that the one called to preach good news, goes to the pews, empowers the people of God to rise up and help with the proclamation of God’s love.

Lord, may it be so.

I’ve been in ministry for a long time. Right out of high school. Okay it seems like a long time. As a matter of fact the first time I had the chance to lead in ministry was in an after school program where we’d pick up kids from a neighborhood near the church we attended in Hollywood. We’d bring them back to the church for a Saturday morning ministry almost like a VBS program. Did this for a long time.

My first real full-time ministry gig was at that same church that loved me often and my way of giving back to the church was by loving their kids often as I could like Jesus loved me. There are kids I still talk to on occasion and its hard to believe they’ve grown so fast. Teachers, physical trainers, Army folks. It seems like yesterday I was just sitting at camp with these same kids, eating, drinking, and watching kids come to know Jesus or serving side by side with them on some Mexico mission trip.

Hard to believe that someone took the time and believed in me that I had something to offer. Something to give. That my testimony and faith in God was of value in the kingdom and some how I got my little toe into the big show. As pastors I wonder if that’s how we’re perceived by others in the church? In some ways its like the way we look at an athlete. When they get to that place in their lives where they’re at their peak of their game. Maybe we are looked at in this way as pastors. This can be a joyful thought or an overwhelming thought in which I’d like to throw against a wall sometimes. With a smile of course. I hate that metaphor but it fits at least for now in my processing that occurs in ministry as a pastor.

Me in the big show? Hard to believe. Sometimes I have to pinch myself. Sometimes I have to remind myself that it took a long time for me to get to this place. God’s overwhelming grace. Not my strength. And sometimes I have to thump myself on the head that I’m still not completely ready and prepared for what I’ve already faced and will face on a daily basis in the life of the church as a pastor.

On a sweeter and yummier note there are times that I have to admit that although I continue to grow I couldn’t imagine myself anywhere else in the church universal. At least not right now.

What’s frustrating is the assumption that we as pastors have got it all together. Because we are in the positions we hold that we are the chosen ones. We’ve been selected by God to proclaim “good news.” At least that’s how we’re perceived. This morning the heater wouldn’t work in church. One person said something to the affect, “just do that hot air stuff you do.” I smiled. There is a member I’ve served with who reminds me that I’m the dude with the robe. The robe? This robe that people like Calvin wore as a means for telling the world he was now in the big show. He earned his way and that he had some brains regarding who God was and is for us as his children.

Sometimes I don’t like that robe. It’s to heavy. In the summer time especially in the church I pastor it’s too hot to wear. I think it scares people. There are those though of previous generations in the church who love when I wear my heavy black robe. It reminds them of a time when the church was at its peak. Its glory day. There is this one sweet lady who reminds me that I look good in a tie with my robe. I made a deal with her that I’d wear it when I did a baptism or administered communion. She smiled. And when I forget she makes sure to jolt my memory not to forget.

Hard to believe. Much to learn. Still growing. Praise God that at this time in my life I get a small part in the sharing of GOOD NEWS. A little toe in the big show. I love what I do!

This is what I call self care. Every pastor needs to learn self care. It only recharges your battery and helps you regroup with the purpose of being available and ready for God to use you.