I recently shared that I was having one of those moments in my life where I’m feeling old. As I write this , our son and the team he served with in Albania are safely home and we’re grateful and are excited that our son was able to participate in an experience that I have no doubt has changed his life. I trust that the Lord worked in many of the lives of both kids and adults and we’re grateful to a dear church for allowing him to participate. You can see their team blog here.
As I shared in my last post I recently helped officiate a memorial service for a wonderful man in Clark Paddock. Clark was loved by many and was especially loved by his family. Clark had a wonderful family in Dorothy and Barbara. Both whom I appreciate and especially Dorothy who was one of my youth leaders when I was in high school, so to help was an honor. When we arrived to the church on the day of the service I met up with Pastor Scott and we both spent some time briefly with some of the family members prior to the start of the service. It was kind of surreal for me. What was surreal about the experience was that as folks were arriving I saw many that I’ve known for years. A few of the folks in attendance were people who had a huge impact on my life for Christ. There were two former Jr. High youth leaders of mine who were in attendance. One who was with me when I accepted Christ into my life in Jr. High at Forest Home. I hadn’t seen her for almost 20 years. Gail and I would sit in the Jr. High lounge of the church and listen to old Mike Warnke tapes Forest Home used to give away when students would come to know Christ and she’d help me study the scriptures. Mike Warnke I guess was a former Satanist and had a wonderful testimony that Forest Home felt was important for youth to hear about and that God used in the lives of many students in bringing kids to Christ over the years. (Apparently Mr. Warnke has had some issues over the years that I hadn’t known about until I wrote this and I’m guessing Forest Home doesn’t give out the tapes anymore)
Lisa who was also in attendance at Clark’s memorial service I had met when I was in the 7th Grade at what used to be called the “Lost Creek Ranch,” at Forest Home. Lisa was one of the volunteer youth workers at the church at the time and would later become the Jr. High Director for the church. The way I had met Lisa I still remember like it was yesterday. There were two kids in the Jr. High youth group who were named Casey at the time. I was one of them and there was a Jr. High girl also named Casey. (I didn’t realize until I was much older that my initials were K.C. and that for some reason my parents liked the name Casey better) The youth staff who had put the cabin assignments together assumed I was a Jr. High girl because of my name and assigned me to a girls cabin with the other Casey. So, I made my way to my “cabin assignment, thinking I was going to the boys cabins and that’s when I walked into the girls cabin and had met Lisa for the first time who graciously helped me find the “boys” cabins after her asking me what my name was. I smile every time I think about that summer at Forest Home and being in the Jr. High youth group with Lisa. There were others like Lisa in attendance at the memorial service who all played different roles in my life for Christ just like Clark.
As I helped with the service and stood in front of the church I had a wave of memories flood my heart. Some of the memories were of me sitting in the pews of the church for so many years, hearing the grace and mercy of Christ preached and worshiping each and every Sunday growing up in the church. Other memories were of being one of the youth in the youth groups, running around at midnight in the church at a plethora of lock-ins, playing hiding go seek in the sanctuary and eventually being one of the youth directors who would continue the tradition of doing what so many did for me in giving me Jesus over the years. Even the memories of Debbie and I getting married close to 20 years ago and remembering the faces who cheered for us on that day we committed our lives to one another and to Christ, even remembering seeing Clark sitting in the crowd.
As I made the walk up to the lectern I felt honored and blessed to stand before some wonderful followers of Jesus and it was a joy to reflect on the many, especially Clark who had impacted my life in a way that influenced my call to serve Christ and the church and be in the role of one of the “pastors.” I even had a couple of folks comment on my “clergy robe” before the service. I don’t wear my robe usually when I preach or lead worship, but I usually wear my robe for weddings, memorial services, communion, and sometimes baptisms, but for this particular service it was a way to honor Clark and it was something I had wanted Clark to see me wear that he had never gotten to see.
Although to some I’m still a kid, it was the first time I didn’t feel like a kid. I felt like I had moved from just being the broken kid from the city, to the kid that God continues to transform and change, a child of the king, who was given a chance to do something with his life, to show the world what happens when a church does what its supposed to do in loving the people of God. One particular man, who was close to Clark who was in attendance got up during the time of sharing about Clark’s life. Red said, “There were two things that Clark cared about. Kids and kids.” If it weren’t for people like Clark, I don’t think I’d be where I am at today in my life.
As I reflect on my birthday “week” I sit in awe of God’s amazing grace in my life. I get to be a husband, father, and a pastor. I get to reflect back to the world what so many had given to me in giving me Jesus and showing me what it means to follow Christ when I was that “kid,” growing up. I get to preach the grace and mercy of Christ and I get to live it out before the world. I get to celebrate the lives of our own kids and that all in all we’ve done pretty good as parents and yet we still have much to do. Most of all I get to show the world what happens when a church does what its supposed to do in loving the world, its neighborhood, and its people as Jesus loved. Do I still feel old? Sure. Am I loving the life God has blessed me with?
A couple of Sundays ago during the kids message, one of the tiny munchkins of the congregation walked up to where Walter usually sits next to the church organ. As the kids message was taking place, this little one walks up to Walter and climbs up on his lap. She sat on his lap until the kids message was over and until Grandma walked up and took the sweet child to the church nursery. I happened to have my blackberry handy at the time and grabbed this shot of Walter and this sweet child. The picture setting at the time I took this was set to Black & White. If you look closely at the picture, you’ll see Walter smiling down on the child.
Walter is originally from the east coast where he was born and raised in New Jersey. He moved to California with his parents in 1954 and resided in the City of San Fernando for a number of years. He has a Bachelors Degree in Art and recorded his first radio recording at the age of 18 for a local radio station.
Walter came to the Lord as a young child and was baptized at the Second Baptist Church in Los Angeles at the age of 6. Walter is a lover of music and has a wonderful gift in singing and in playing the church organ and piano. His first piano lesson was at the age of 7. At the age of 14 Walter started playing the organ at St. Phillips Lutheran Church in Pacoima. Years later in the mid 1980’s he would assist in the praise band at the Shadow Hills Presbyterian Church because of his ability to play the piano and his unique sound as a gospel singer.
Walter Bolen has been part of our church for close to 20 years. He first moved to Littlerock in 1988. It was in 1991 when he first attended our church here in Littlerock looking for a new church home for him and his family. Upon his arrival, literally on the first day, Pastor Bob Frisbee learned of Walter’s talent in playing the piano and organ and put him right to work on the piano playing alongside one of our church members who at the time was the church organist. He hasn’t stopped playing the piano and organ in church ever since.
In 2002 and with the encouragement of Pastor Krin Van Tatenhove and friends in the Littlerock church, Walter made his first CD. In 2003 Walter was diagnosed with kidney failure followed by congestive heart failure and was put on dialysis. Blindness in one eye along with Glaucoma began immediately, but he still sees well enough to get around and because of his God given gifts in playing the organ and the piano he is still able to help lead our church in worship each and every Sunday. Walter is currently on a list to receive a kidney transplant at UCLA, but is unable to receive one until he finds an appropriate support team that will help him during recovery.
On many of occasion Walter for our special music time, right after the message and being led by the Holy Spirit will pick the most appropriate song that he’s either written or has in his repertoire of music that relates with the message for the morning. Walter is loved by many and has a wonderful heart for people and most of all a pastors’ heart. Walter has served as an Elder in our church and continues to have a love for our church and the community God has placed the church in.
I recently talked with Walter and he shared that our church has been one “big family” who has walked with him through his kidney failure and through a divorce. What I love about Walter is his ability to listen and his honesty. He’s not afraid to tell you the truth and something that frustrates him most about Christians is the hypocrisy as Christ followers that we all struggle with sometimes. Just the mere fact that he is able to take one of the sermons I preach and come up with a song that continues with the proclamation of God’s love until we disperse is an amazing gift and I know many pastors who would love to have someone like Walter.
Walter has an amazing testimony and I know that I am not alone in saying that, “Walter we love you brother and thank God for you and your heart for worship.”
If you’d like to hear some of Walt’s music, visit his website. I know he’d appreciate it if you’d listen to what God has blessed him with. In each song you’ll hear his testimony loudly and sense his heart for loving Jesus.
Attentive Grace comes to mind when I think of the overall theme of the movie, “The Blind Side.” Seeing the potential in someone is something that many are capable of doing. Yet there are many who are afraid to practice this kind of love for fear of what could happen. ”Big Mike” and Lee Anne Tuohy actually intersect in the movie when the Tuohy family as they’re driving home from a school function, sees Michael Oher walking in the rain, wearing only a shirt and shorts. Lee Anne steps out of the ordinary in her life of success and blessings and asks Michael about his situation and whether or not he had a place to stay. She does the unthinkable and the Oher family brings Michael home and he sleeps on their couch and would eventually become part of the Tuohy family as the movie unfolds.
The movie reminded me of a dear friend in my life that both my wife and I love very much. Clark resembled for me what it means to be attentive to the grace of God in the world. Clark and his wife when I was around 18 years old offered to house me in their home. The reason Clark wanted to do this was that I needed a place to live and I needed to find some structure and stability in my life. Clark wanted me to consider furthering my education by attending the local community college which was a 10-15 minute walk from his home. He and his wife went out of their way to make it possible for me to attend, they fed me, and saw to it that I got to church when I needed to get to church. Clark was aware of my home life growing up and although couldn’t really relate to the situation I had come from, understood his designated role in my life as a follower of Jesus. Clark and his wife Margie were what the larger church should be when it comes to loving the people of God where the church resides in its context and where it is placed by God in the world.
Leigh Anne Tuohy saw the injustice of a young man who needed more than just a break. She saw a child of the king who needed grace and at one point in the movie recognizes what Michael was doing for her and how he was a blessing to her. How do we bring both worlds together that are found in the movie and that by all means exist in our churches? Being attentive to God’s grace means learning how to watch and listen. Listen for where the needs exist. Be aware of the injustices that with God’s help can be corrected and most of all being responsive to those moments in your life where you are called upon to be a blessing to someone else even if there are risks?
For those of you who read my blog and who know me, you know my parents died several years ago. Over the years the Lord has blessed me with some wonderful surrogate parents who have helped shaped my faith in Christ and in many ways are the reason I do what I do now as a follower of Jesus, husband, father, and now a pastor.
Our friend Frank Frankman went to be with the Lord this past Thursday.
For Debbie and I Frank on more than one occasion cared for us in so many ways. His fatherly love and his heart for Jesus ministered to us and gave to us the peace of Christ. The kind of peace that encouraged us to not give up and to trust that the God of peace is what gives us strength to get through the best and worst of times.
What I loved about Frank was that he was a surrogate parent to Deb and me, he was a spiritual father, and for this we give thanks to God. My fondest memories of Frank were sitting in his home with Jane as they regularly welcomed young adults into their home from the church. I also remember receiving some of the biggest “Frank Frankman” hugs that were the kind of hugs that I so desired from my own father. They were the kinds of hugs that said, “man, I’m proud of you kid!”
What I truly remember about Frank is that every time he talked about me with my friends or people at church, I would always hear from my friends on how proud he was of me. And every time Debbie and I would see Frank he would make it a point to tell us how proud he was of us. This always gave me hope and encouraged me in so many ways. He was our cheerleader. He was one of our biggest fans in the kingdom. He even celebrated like a father would celebrate with his kids, when I told him I finally finished seminary and that I was becoming a Presbyterian minister. On more than one occasion he would tear up when he would talk with Deb and me about the joy he had for us.
Thank you God for our friend Frank. Although we grieve, we celebrate the life you now have with God Frank. We continue to pray for your bride Jane and for your kids. We thank you for loving us as Jesus loved us. Thank you for giving us your heart. And most of all thank you for being proud of me Frank! I love you brother!
(Last years Third Day Concert in Del Mar) Steve has his Coachella koo koo festival and a whole lot of youth groups this weekend from all over California will have Spirit West Coast Del Mar. Mind you there a couple of the bands that are just way to loud for me and I can’t understand the lyrics in my old age. The idea of a mosh pit scares the poop out of me and I’d be happy hanging watching Jars of Clay and Third Day all day long. But for some reason God moves and groves in the pit of mosh. Anyways, a bunch of us from the Antelope Valley and Littlerock will be cruising down to Del Mar for a weekend get away to worship God and to build some relationships with some really cool youth. Say a pray for us and especially for some of mi familia as they will be in another part of the country hanging with relatives.
In about eleven days I’ll have been the pastor of this awesome church for one year. So much has happened in a year. I’ve preached a bunch of sermons. I’ve done a couple of weddings, a few baptisms, a couple of funerals, and I’m learning how to build a new church building with some awesome leaders. What am I learning in my first year as a solo pastor?
I’m learning to listen. The church needs someone to listen for those God moments. Those little reminders that God is at work and that its not about us as the people of God or me as a pastor. I’m also learning to listen to those who truly are led by God. One of my jobs is to empower the people of God to be the ministers. Finding people with a heart for ministry and for bringing hope to those people who need hope. Finally, I’m learning to listen to those who really need someone to just stop and listen. I want to be the kind of pastor who doesn’t mind not trying to have all the answers as opposed to the pastor who always tries to be “super fix it pastor to the rescue” which is easy to do as a pastor.
I’m learning to breathe. Breathing is important when you’re in ministry. No matter how big or small your church is that you pastor. Others need to see you breathe. Its a sign of ones trust in God to be at the center of all things. Its our opportunity as pastors to give God thanks for everything that happens in the life of the church even if its not the way we want it to be.
I’m learning to rest. I remember the pastor who charged me at my installation. Resting and taking care of myself, my mind, and my body have not been top of the list of things to do this past year. I’ve even had some warning shots fired at my head reminding me to stop and rest in God’s restoring power. Learning mostly to spend time resting in Christ and his love for me as his own. In spending time with God being one who prays often as a way of finding rest in God. I still enjoy what Nouwen says, “what would it look like if someone called the church office and asked for the pastor and the response of the secretary was sorry the pastor is out praying.”
I’m learning to enjoy my family. I had a pastor friend tell me not to do the same thing he did in sacrificing his family over the church in his first couple of years as a solo pastor. When the six year old wants me to follow his “neatly” drawn map in finding a secret treasure in the house, I sure as better get my “button” off my chair and go play with that little guy. I’m also learning that as I sit here and write this post that the kids aren’t getting any younger and if I’m hiding behind a computer or sitting in a meeting that I’m really not needed at I will miss this ride called parenting and enjoying our kids. Finally, enjoying the blessing of being married to a woman that I love more than anything and that continues to encourage me and love me no matter what. Knowing that again she is someone that I am not willing to lose because of my need to be “super pastor dude.”
Over this next week I will do some more reflecting on lessons learned and that I’m still learning as a first year pastor.
Seventeen years ago something amazing took place in the universe. God brought two people, opposites in so many ways, with something special in mind. Seventeen years this Saturday my wife Debbie and I give thanks to God for his love and grace in our lives. I remember the day I picked up the wedding rings. I wore mine all the way home. I know there were loved ones who wondered if it could or even would work? Lots of hope, prayer, and a who lot of trust in the one who promises that his plans are for a hope and a future. (Jeremiah29:11)
Three awesome children later, a mortgage, a couple of cats, a church to pastor, a teaching position, and a fish, we are still in the thick of things by God’s grace. We have experienced joy and struggle together and because of faithful friends who have loved us and role models who we have watched from afar in the church universal God has been faithful.
In nine months we get to usher some kids off to that next level in life called Jr. High and High School. With glee we get to overwhelm a six year old with oodles of love with hopes that he stays six just long enough before he too enters that world of adolescence and before we enter therapy asking, “what just happened here?”
Mrs. Wahe you rock my world and I am honored and blessed that you are my wife, my beautiful bride, and my friend. You are a gift from God and with joy I look forward to riding this wave of grace with you as we enjoy God’s blessings and help raise some pretty “Wahe” cool kiddoes.
What does grace look like when it grows up? It looks like a window you wash in your house and immediately after its cleaned for some reason the fingerprints of those you love reappear within minutes. What does someone look like when God does his work of grace in a persons life? It’s like the window covered with fingerprints instead the fingerprints belong to the maker of the universe.
Every person in my life was some kind of instrument of grace growing up in the church. I’m a follower of Jesus because of the people in my life who gave me grace. I’m a husband and deeply in love with my wife because of how I witnessed those I watched from afar in the way they loved their own wives. I’m a father because of the grace I watched shown to those who fathered their own children.
Covered in grace I am. Giver of grace God is and I now because of those who loved me like Jesus loved me; I now get to give the grace of God away to those I meet and greet in all that I say and do as a follower of Jesus, husband, father, and pastor.
When grace grows up it’s kind of cool. I’d like to think that if it weren’t for grace I’d be in a whole different place in my life. If it weren’t for some work in therapy and God’s healing grace I can only imagine what life would be like right now at the ripe old age of 39. I am the other side of grace. What grace looks like when simmered under low heat for 39 years. (Okay sounds wierd, but in my head it makes sense)
We’ve been down into Hollywood on a couple of occasions of recent and everytime we drive through the city the sights, sounds, and the smells of the city I grew up in as a kid appear out of no where. Let me illustrate. We as a family recently attended a Dodger game a few weeks ago. Everytime we attend a memory of a game I attended with my dad as a kid always seems to appear. I remember it like yesterday. Dad filled to the rim with his favorite baseball drink, began raising his voice. We were with the YMCA on a field trip on this particular day to the Dodger game and those around us started to not only smell, but hear “father” and his loud voice dominate the stands. The next scene is dad being taken away by stadium police until the game was over. Although I don’t remember much of what happened after that game, I still remember sitting in the upper level seating watching the Astros and Dodgers play and everytime we go to a game that’s the first memory I think of from when I was a kid in growing up in the city and feeling like a heel over “father” and his lack of appreciation for his gifts of grace of kids in his life.
The kind of grace I continue to experience in my life is the kind of grace that heals the soul. The kind of grace that nudges you along in life and keeps your eyes focused on the one who is grace. If it weren’t for grace in my life I’d not be married to an awesome woman, blessed with wonderful kids, and overwhelmed with God’s blessing of being a pastor, called to give grace back. If it weren’t for grace in my life I’d not have the shelter and food that my parents once couldn’t provide for us as kids. The kind of grace that continues to be and has always been faithful in provision for my family today.
The question I ask myself today is this; “what happens when grace grows up?”
When Jesus sends us out into the world, he sends us to places that either bring us joy or places where we will be challenged to grow in our faith. After finishing a week of vacation Bible school, I can’t help but hear the words of Jesus, “as the father sends me, I also send you…”
Ministry is a whole lot of sending sometimes. Every where you go and everyone you meet is an opportunity for giving and living like Jesus. I have to say that I was on the receiving end of grace this week as we concluded a week of VBS. I love watching kids move from that initial first day of, “what have I gotten myself in to,” to singing goofy VBS church songs, which yours truly always enjoys doing. (I will be singing “whose side are you leaning on” in my sleep for about a week in my dreams) I especially enjoyed our celebration this evening when the kids whose parents had showed up for an end of week BBQ wanted to sing the songs for their parents. It was awesome and refreshing. I especially enjoyed watching the adults give of their lives in a way where one adult made a comment to another, “now what am I going to do now that VBS is over?”
I have no doubt they experienced what I experienced in receiving grace from a bunch of kids who were challenged at the beginning of the week to do just one thing…just have fun. The joy in being sent by God is knowing that even when we are sent to places that either bring us joy or challenge us that God has a way of renewing our hearts for for his purpose. Even when and if we’re feeling spent after a week of goofy VBS church songs, bible themed snacks, and loud ear piercing sounds and smells of kids just trying to enjoy the gift of being kids.
