Had a good time at PGF this past week. Got to spend some time with old friends from seminary. Lots of Princeton folks which was cool. Saw some friends that I haven’t seen since graduation. Also got to see some buddies from my home church. As for the content of the week I was glad I was present. The one person that I actually was looking forward to hearing was Rick Warren. I guess something happened and he wasn’t able to attend. I actually think he was sitting in his back yard hanging with his pals Obama and McCain. (Just kidding) Alan Hirsch was what I thought he’d be. My favorite Hirsch quote was, “You Presbyterians are in trouble because you have defined yourselves by your structure.”I’ve heard Labberton before and wish I could some how steal just a small bit of his brain for my preaching every Sunday.

Went to the Michael Walker seminars on whether or not one can still be faithful in the PCUSA. I really appreciated his work and his willingness to help folks find some kind of balance. Even after this conference, I know in all of my heart as a follower of Jesus, a Christian, and a pastor that I still can be faithful to the call God has placed on my heart to those I minister to, with, and alongside. It broke my heart to hear the pain this past week that many are feeling and I only pray that they continue to find the answers they are looking for in deciding whether one can still be faithful in light of the denominational things that are happening and have been happening for a long time.

As for the missional stuff during the conference? Nothing new in some ways for me. I think folks don’t realize that they have been doing things missional for most of their lives as followers of Jesus. The church I still love to this day and where I came to know Christ in as a youth was a missional body long before the word became a BUZZ word dropped over a latte discussing missional things in the church. I laughed with a friend a couple of weeks ago when she said, “The church we were part of for years, just wasn’t smart enough to label what they were doing for the kingdom of God in the City as missional.”

My fear with the whole missional thing of recent is that I start to check out when I hear it being discussed and talked about. One church this past week mentioned something about going to Tijuana and building homes. No doubt this has made an impact on the people of God. How about adopting a neighborhood church in their own city and walking alongside that church in their own work as a missional body that strives to empower and equip the people of God to becoming a sent community? How about coming alongside a city church, one breath away from death and helping them find their kingdom concept (My new buzz word I learned this week) and helping them move from survival to helping them  as people of God accept their niche, their place in the City as a church that might not be the church it once was, but a church that is living out their faith and proclaiming God’s grace to those in need of grace. Let’s stop spending money on learning about being missional and lets just do what we’ve always been doing in the kingdom of God here on earth. And the funny thing is that there are churches who are doing and living a missional life and still haven’t figured it out.

I’m the result of a church being missional. I’m confident that Jesus loves me and that it is his grace in my life that gives me strength to BE in the world doing the mission of God.

All in all? A nice time to be away. Do I have answers yet? No, but I still proclaim GOOD NEWS. News that needs to be shared. News that sometimes is awesome to hear and yet sometimes hard to hear. News that is radical and should make us feel uncomfortable. News that calls the church to WAKE UP!

My preaching professor in seminary once said, “preaching is sometimes making the people of God feel uncomfortable. You might not be preaching if you’re not moving them to a place of responding to God’s call to GO and do something with what they have heard.” (My paraphrase)

A cool ad idea that our friend Pastor Jim had at Cornerstone. Now we pray it helps attract some kiddoes for VBS.

I don’t profess to being mr. blogger extraordinaire. I started blogging because it was a way to stay connected with friends in ministry and to dump as much Christ like wisdom from folks much wiser and seasoned into my brain to assist me in following Jesus. I also started blogging to keep connected with those I ministered to and with in youth ministry. It was a way for me to have a pinky within culture and stay connected with what was happening in the world of students. I must confess that something I fear in blogging is that if I dump to much here that it would not add to the kingdom. I also must confess that I’ve always been insecure with my writing. One of my professors in seminary once said to me, “Kevin, you write like you talk.” Writing is something I’ve had to work on for a bunch of years and by God’s grace I’m still growing in the areas of writing. I guess you can say that I’m still looking for my niche in the blogosphere.

What’s on my mind tonight?

• My wife is eagerly waiting for a phone call from any school district within a 60 mile radius to find a teaching position for the fall school year. If you’re up to date with Southern California stuff, you know that my wife along with hundreds of other teachers are part of some educational budget cuts.
• Our kids are “promoting.” One is going to high school and the other is going into jr. high. I’m not ready. I’ve blinked and they’re longer in pre-school. I miss the days of pre-school and happy meals. I also praise God for our kids. They’re awesome students and have made us proud! 4.0’s baby! What a way to begin Jr. High and High School. They get their smart stuff from mommy way cool.
• Like every other pastor I worry about church stuff. I worry about budget stuff. Our leaders are trying to figure out how to do ministry with an awesome church in the midst of a struggling economy. We’re wondering what our “thing” is supposed to be in the 21st century.
• I’m worried about a paper I have to start writing for school.

There you have it! As honest as I can be and still growing and being transformed. Trusting in God and trying to be still.

Something hard to do in the midst of life’s journey as a follower of Jesus.

Hung out with one of our sons tonight watching his baseball game. Something I know I didn’t see from my dad. It’s a treat for me that I get to do these things with our kids. Being a dad trumps so many other things. It’s a gift from God to be able to share with my wife in the role of parenting. Tonight, the boy got a solid outfield hit and got someone out on a throw he made from right field to second base which ended the inning. Made me proud. On the way home we had a good talk about the game and how he felt really good about what he contributed to the game. He says, “I really needed that hit, because he’s had a slow season at the plate. As we talked some more, the topic came up about who got the game ball AGAIN. Kids at this level are so used to getting a game ball from the younger leagues that it becomes the “ata boy,” of the day. I sensed his frustration about how some of the same kids keep getting game balls, some have gotten them at least twice, maybe even three times. And in the coaches defense, the game ball is sometimes the accolade a boy needs to encourage a kid. So, don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a problem with the game ball concept for now. Anyways, as I drove my boy home and as my heart broke as I listened to his frustration of, “how does one earn a game ball,” my fatherly words of wisdom that flowed from my mouth, sounded like cheese whiz on crackers. We talked about the “ata boys and accolades of life” and how when God sends you an ”ata boy,” it comes when you at least expect it. And my boys response to my cheese whiz? “Just like that hit I got.”

I think he got it.  

As a young pastor (turning forty in less than six months) there are some days I am busting with joy that God has blessed me with the coolest calling anyone could ever receive from God in being a pastor to a church. There are other days I wonder if I’m even coming close to making a difference for the kingdom.

What are people looking for in a church? What are they needing? Are folks simply wanting someone to entertain them and make them feel all mushy inside or are they wanting simple truths that can challenge them to look at the gospel in a way that motivates them to think outside of their box of naiveté?

I had a conversation with a relative during the holiday season that left me wondering about the way I preach the gospel. This relative basically said in so many words, “What’s the matter with folks wanting to hear a feel good message?” Of course we talked about pastors and churches that are doing the “feel good stuff” and who are growing by the thousands. Pastors who are polished presenters of a “make you feel good gospel message.” Another relative sitting in on the same conversation says, “when I was a kid, my parents took me to some baptist church and all I remember was hearing a you’re going to hell sermon. What’s matter with the “feel good stuff?”

I came across another person a couple of weeks ago from another church in the area that implied that my role as preacher is to entertain from the pulpit. This person had implied that people want to hear politics and the gospel message somehow intertwined together. I had shared that my call to preach good news was simply to preach good news. Preaching good news meant that there couldn’t be room for the politics of today to interfere with the proclamation of the gospel message. The pulpit wasn’t a place for dancing on the heads of the parishioner with my take on the world.

I don’t have a problem using an illustration or two from the world to make a point. People get the “fluff and stuff” from the outside 24-7. When they enter the doors of the church they need to hear something more than just “fluff and stuff.” In the same respect I had a preaching professor say to us soon to be preachers while in seminary, “You ain’t preaching the gospel if you ain’t making people feel uncomfortable.” Implying that Jesus came with a message that called people to face the troubles of the world and that called people to turn away from sin which made people feel uncomfortable. How do I do this and yet still bring some kind of hope to those looking for just a small bit of hope when they enter the church on a Sunday morning?

One of my hopes for 2008 is that I’d continue to find “my preaching,” voice. A phrase I heard often thrown around seminary like snowballs. I want to be the kind of pastor and preacher that speaks the truth of the gospel. I also want to be the kind of pastor and preacher that helps others become more than just pew participants warming up some old pews. I want to be a pastor where when the words I put on paper somehow become the words that speak to a persons heart via the mouth of God. Words that move people from the pew out into the world.

In about eleven days I’ll have been the pastor of this awesome church for one year. So much has happened in a year. I’ve preached a bunch of sermons. I’ve done a couple of weddings, a few baptisms, a couple of funerals, and I’m learning how to build a new church building with some awesome leaders. What am I learning in my first year as a solo pastor?

I’m learning to listen. The church needs someone to listen for those God moments. Those little reminders that God is at work and that its not about us as the people of God or me as a pastor. I’m also learning to listen to those who truly are led by God. One of my jobs is to empower the people of God to be the ministers. Finding people with a heart for ministry and for bringing hope to those people who need hope. Finally, I’m learning to listen to those who really need someone to just stop and listen. I want to be the kind of pastor who doesn’t mind not trying to have all the answers as opposed to the pastor who always tries to be “super fix it pastor to the rescue” which is easy to do as a pastor.

I’m learning to breathe. Breathing is important when you’re in ministry. No matter how big or small your church is that you pastor. Others need to see you breathe. Its a sign of ones trust in God to be at the center of all things. Its our opportunity as pastors to give God thanks for everything that happens in the life of the church even if its not the way we want it to be.

I’m learning to rest. I remember the pastor who charged me at my installation. Resting and taking care of myself, my mind, and my body have not been top of the list of things to do this past year. I’ve even had some warning shots fired at my head reminding me to stop and rest in God’s restoring power. Learning mostly to spend time resting in Christ and his love for me as his own. In spending time with God being one who prays often as a way of finding rest in God. I still enjoy what Nouwen says, “what would it look like if someone called the church office and asked for the pastor and the response of the secretary was sorry the pastor is out praying.”

I’m learning to enjoy my family. I had a pastor friend tell me not to do the same thing he did in sacrificing his family over the church in his first couple of years as a solo pastor. When the six year old wants me to follow his “neatly” drawn map in finding a secret treasure in the house, I sure as better get my “button” off my chair and go play with that little guy. I’m also learning that as I sit here and write this post that the kids aren’t getting any younger and if I’m hiding behind a computer or sitting in a meeting that I’m really not needed at I will miss this ride called parenting and enjoying our kids. Finally, enjoying the blessing of being married to a woman that I love more than anything and that continues to encourage me and love me no matter what. Knowing that again she is someone that I am not willing to lose because of my need to be “super pastor dude.”

Over this next week I will do some more reflecting on lessons learned and that I’m still learning as a first year pastor.

Working on some of my first reading assignments. Read this today from Eugene Peterson:

In taking “monestary” as a metaphor for “parish,” I found way to detach myself from the careerism mind-set that has been so ruinous to pastoral vocations and began to understand my congregation as a location for a spirituality maturing life and ministry.

The congregation is the pastor’s place for developing vocational holiness. It goes without saying that it is the place of ministry: we preach the word and administer the sacraments, we give pastoral care and administer the community life, we teach and we give spiritual direction. But it is also the place in which develop virtue, learn love, advance in hope-become what we preach. At the same time we proclaim a holy gospel, we develop a holy life. We dare not separate what we do from who we are.

A place for me to grow in Christ? BAM!

One of the many things I find myself doing on a Sunday morning is watching for visitors. In a small church it’s really easy to notice when someone is new. I’ve noticed that the hardest part sometimes is getting from the front to the back quick enough to say hello right after the sermon.

When grace grows up it’s kind of cool. I’d like to think that if it weren’t for grace I’d be in a whole different place in my life. If it weren’t for some work in therapy and God’s healing grace I can only imagine what life would be like right now at the ripe old age of 39. I am the other side of grace. What grace looks like when simmered under low heat for 39 years. (Okay sounds wierd, but in my head it makes sense)

We’ve been down into Hollywood on a couple of occasions of recent and everytime we drive through the city the sights, sounds, and the smells of the city I grew up in as a kid appear out of no where. Let me illustrate. We as a family recently attended a Dodger game a few weeks ago. Everytime we attend a memory of a game I attended with my dad as a kid always seems to appear. I remember it like yesterday. Dad filled to the rim with his favorite baseball drink, began raising his voice. We were with the YMCA on a field trip on this particular day to the Dodger game and those around us started to not only smell, but hear “father” and his loud voice dominate the stands. The next scene is dad being taken away by stadium police until the game was over. Although I don’t remember much of what happened after that game, I still remember sitting in the upper level seating watching the Astros and Dodgers play and everytime we go to a game that’s the first memory I think of from when I was a kid in growing up in the city and feeling like a heel over “father” and his lack of appreciation for his gifts of grace of kids in his life.

 The kind of grace I continue to experience in my life is the kind of grace that heals the soul. The kind of grace that nudges you along in life and keeps your eyes focused on the one who is grace. If it weren’t for grace in my life I’d not be married to an awesome woman, blessed with wonderful kids, and overwhelmed with God’s blessing of being a pastor, called to give grace back. If it weren’t for grace in my life I’d not have the shelter and food that my parents once couldn’t provide for us as kids. The kind of grace that continues to be and has always been faithful in provision for my family today. 

The question I ask myself today is this; “what happens when grace grows up?”  

We recently invited a Spanish speaking congregation to rent space at our church for their worship services. I was introduced recently to the congregation during one of their services after 45 minutes of worship. I had wanted the church to know that we were partners in the ministry of the Gospel and wanted them to know they could feel at home.  I had asked the assistant pastor if he was going to translate making the assumption that every one present spoke Spanish only. He says, “no, they know English. I’ll translate if I need to.”

In light of this experience this is very interesting from a recent article from the associated press.

While churches from every imaginable tradition have been adding Spanish services to meet the needs of new immigrants, an increasing number of Hispanic ethnic congregations are going the other way - starting English services. It’s an effort to meet the demands of second- and third-generation Hispanics, keep families together and reach non-Latinos. Continue reading article here.

HT: Juan