I recently shared that I was having one of those moments in my life where I’m feeling old. As I write this , our son and the team he served with in Albania are safely home and we’re grateful and are excited that our son was able to participate in an experience that I have no doubt has changed his life. I trust that the Lord worked in many of the lives of both kids and adults and we’re grateful to a dear church for allowing him to participate. You can see their team blog here.
As I shared in my last post I recently helped officiate a memorial service for a wonderful man in Clark Paddock. Clark was loved by many and was especially loved by his family. Clark had a wonderful family in Dorothy and Barbara. Both whom I appreciate and especially Dorothy who was one of my youth leaders when I was in high school, so to help was an honor. When we arrived to the church on the day of the service I met up with Pastor Scott and we both spent some time briefly with some of the family members prior to the start of the service. It was kind of surreal for me. What was surreal about the experience was that as folks were arriving I saw many that I’ve known for years. A few of the folks in attendance were people who had a huge impact on my life for Christ. There were two former Jr. High youth leaders of mine who were in attendance. One who was with me when I accepted Christ into my life in Jr. High at Forest Home. I hadn’t seen her for almost 20 years. Gail and I would sit in the Jr. High lounge of the church and listen to old Mike Warnke tapes Forest Home used to give away when students would come to know Christ and she’d help me study the scriptures. Mike Warnke I guess was a former Satanist and had a wonderful testimony that Forest Home felt was important for youth to hear about and that God used in the lives of many students in bringing kids to Christ over the years. (Apparently Mr. Warnke has had some issues over the years that I hadn’t known about until I wrote this and I’m guessing Forest Home doesn’t give out the tapes anymore)
Lisa who was also in attendance at Clark’s memorial service I had met when I was in the 7th Grade at what used to be called the “Lost Creek Ranch,” at Forest Home. Lisa was one of the volunteer youth workers at the church at the time and would later become the Jr. High Director for the church. The way I had met Lisa I still remember like it was yesterday. There were two kids in the Jr. High youth group who were named Casey at the time. I was one of them and there was a Jr. High girl also named Casey. (I didn’t realize until I was much older that my initials were K.C. and that for some reason my parents liked the name Casey better) The youth staff who had put the cabin assignments together assumed I was a Jr. High girl because of my name and assigned me to a girls cabin with the other Casey. So, I made my way to my “cabin assignment, thinking I was going to the boys cabins and that’s when I walked into the girls cabin and had met Lisa for the first time who graciously helped me find the “boys” cabins after her asking me what my name was. I smile every time I think about that summer at Forest Home and being in the Jr. High youth group with Lisa. There were others like Lisa in attendance at the memorial service who all played different roles in my life for Christ just like Clark.
As I helped with the service and stood in front of the church I had a wave of memories flood my heart. Some of the memories were of me sitting in the pews of the church for so many years, hearing the grace and mercy of Christ preached and worshiping each and every Sunday growing up in the church. Other memories were of being one of the youth in the youth groups, running around at midnight in the church at a plethora of lock-ins, playing hiding go seek in the sanctuary and eventually being one of the youth directors who would continue the tradition of doing what so many did for me in giving me Jesus over the years. Even the memories of Debbie and I getting married close to 20 years ago and remembering the faces who cheered for us on that day we committed our lives to one another and to Christ, even remembering seeing Clark sitting in the crowd.
As I made the walk up to the lectern I felt honored and blessed to stand before some wonderful followers of Jesus and it was a joy to reflect on the many, especially Clark who had impacted my life in a way that influenced my call to serve Christ and the church and be in the role of one of the “pastors.” I even had a couple of folks comment on my “clergy robe” before the service. I don’t wear my robe usually when I preach or lead worship, but I usually wear my robe for weddings, memorial services, communion, and sometimes baptisms, but for this particular service it was a way to honor Clark and it was something I had wanted Clark to see me wear that he had never gotten to see.
Although to some I’m still a kid, it was the first time I didn’t feel like a kid. I felt like I had moved from just being the broken kid from the city, to the kid that God continues to transform and change, a child of the king, who was given a chance to do something with his life, to show the world what happens when a church does what its supposed to do in loving the people of God. One particular man, who was close to Clark who was in attendance got up during the time of sharing about Clark’s life. Red said, “There were two things that Clark cared about. Kids and kids.” If it weren’t for people like Clark, I don’t think I’d be where I am at today in my life.
As I reflect on my birthday “week” I sit in awe of God’s amazing grace in my life. I get to be a husband, father, and a pastor. I get to reflect back to the world what so many had given to me in giving me Jesus and showing me what it means to follow Christ when I was that “kid,” growing up. I get to preach the grace and mercy of Christ and I get to live it out before the world. I get to celebrate the lives of our own kids and that all in all we’ve done pretty good as parents and yet we still have much to do. Most of all I get to show the world what happens when a church does what its supposed to do in loving the world, its neighborhood, and its people as Jesus loved. Do I still feel old? Sure. Am I loving the life God has blessed me with?
A couple of Sundays ago during the kids message, one of the tiny munchkins of the congregation walked up to where Walter usually sits next to the church organ. As the kids message was taking place, this little one walks up to Walter and climbs up on his lap. She sat on his lap until the kids message was over and until Grandma walked up and took the sweet child to the church nursery. I happened to have my blackberry handy at the time and grabbed this shot of Walter and this sweet child. The picture setting at the time I took this was set to Black & White. If you look closely at the picture, you’ll see Walter smiling down on the child.
Walter is originally from the east coast where he was born and raised in New Jersey. He moved to California with his parents in 1954 and resided in the City of San Fernando for a number of years. He has a Bachelors Degree in Art and recorded his first radio recording at the age of 18 for a local radio station.
Walter came to the Lord as a young child and was baptized at the Second Baptist Church in Los Angeles at the age of 6. Walter is a lover of music and has a wonderful gift in singing and in playing the church organ and piano. His first piano lesson was at the age of 7. At the age of 14 Walter started playing the organ at St. Phillips Lutheran Church in Pacoima. Years later in the mid 1980’s he would assist in the praise band at the Shadow Hills Presbyterian Church because of his ability to play the piano and his unique sound as a gospel singer.
Walter Bolen has been part of our church for close to 20 years. He first moved to Littlerock in 1988. It was in 1991 when he first attended our church here in Littlerock looking for a new church home for him and his family. Upon his arrival, literally on the first day, Pastor Bob Frisbee learned of Walter’s talent in playing the piano and organ and put him right to work on the piano playing alongside one of our church members who at the time was the church organist. He hasn’t stopped playing the piano and organ in church ever since.
In 2002 and with the encouragement of Pastor Krin Van Tatenhove and friends in the Littlerock church, Walter made his first CD. In 2003 Walter was diagnosed with kidney failure followed by congestive heart failure and was put on dialysis. Blindness in one eye along with Glaucoma began immediately, but he still sees well enough to get around and because of his God given gifts in playing the organ and the piano he is still able to help lead our church in worship each and every Sunday. Walter is currently on a list to receive a kidney transplant at UCLA, but is unable to receive one until he finds an appropriate support team that will help him during recovery.
On many of occasion Walter for our special music time, right after the message and being led by the Holy Spirit will pick the most appropriate song that he’s either written or has in his repertoire of music that relates with the message for the morning. Walter is loved by many and has a wonderful heart for people and most of all a pastors’ heart. Walter has served as an Elder in our church and continues to have a love for our church and the community God has placed the church in.
I recently talked with Walter and he shared that our church has been one “big family” who has walked with him through his kidney failure and through a divorce. What I love about Walter is his ability to listen and his honesty. He’s not afraid to tell you the truth and something that frustrates him most about Christians is the hypocrisy as Christ followers that we all struggle with sometimes. Just the mere fact that he is able to take one of the sermons I preach and come up with a song that continues with the proclamation of God’s love until we disperse is an amazing gift and I know many pastors who would love to have someone like Walter.
Walter has an amazing testimony and I know that I am not alone in saying that, “Walter we love you brother and thank God for you and your heart for worship.”
If you’d like to hear some of Walt’s music, visit his website. I know he’d appreciate it if you’d listen to what God has blessed him with. In each song you’ll hear his testimony loudly and sense his heart for loving Jesus.
We finally saw the movie, “The Blind Side,” this past weekend. I have lots to say and little time to formulate. Although I never went on to become a start athlete, I will say that I resonate with the movie because if it weren’t for a few folks in my life as a youth who practiced what it meant to be the family of God, I would not be where I’m at today in my life as a follower of Jesus, husband, father, and pastor. Promise to blog some in a couple of days.
Disclaimer before I write anything else. I am fine. I love the Lord with all of my heart and soul, I love my wife Deb, and I continue to be blown away by how God continues to watch over our family. As for ministry I am blessed and I am grateful that God has given me the chance to serve as a pastor of a wonderful church with some wonderful folks. I am also grateful that God has opened up a door for me to serve as a part-time hospital chaplain while Debbie looks for a new teaching position. With that being said…
As I look at my life in a nutshell I have no complaints. I have been happily married to a wonderful and beautiful woman for almost 19 years. We get the God given honor of being able to raise some amazing kids. When it comes to lifes goals one sets, I browse through the last 40 years of my bookshelves of my heart and I must say I have met many of my goals. I also have many more to work on and I know God isn’t through with me when it comes to pastoral ministry and serving as a pastor.
I turn 41 next week. Turning 40 was strange and I must say turning 41 is even stranger. I don’t feel that I’m a 41 year old although my body sometimes looks and feels like its 50. How do some of you older guys cope with this? Someone told me last year 40 is the new 27. How I wish!
Over the next couple of weeks I will reflect on turning 41.
Let me say that as I think about turning 41 I have some mixed emotions. I am thrilled and at the same time I am beside myself that this train called “getting old,” is going way too fast.
I do know this…I am thankful…with joy and happiness I am thankful for what God has done for me.
I give you these two folks who are just way too awesome and who are leading many in the kingdom to the throne of God.
As I think about this post I just finished a long shift at the hospital doing chaplain things. I am exhausted and also grateful for the day I had. As I reflect on my day I think of a statement made by a friend of mine just recently about teaching the people of God to be missional. I am convinced that being missional isn’t something you can teach. Being missional is something you just do. How do you know your doing things missional?
You’ll know. You’ll start hearing and seeing God work in ways you’ve never seen before. You become a risk taker. You start stepping outside of your box of naivete. When was the last time God kicked you out of your box for a moment just long enough to catch a glimpse of what the kingdom of God actually is about and looks like?
Responding to the mission of God means finally saying with arms stretched out ,”Lord, here I am.”
I must confess I am not a blogger of worthy status. I admit I fell into the “fad” of blogging a few years ago and yes I do more on Facebook than blogging. Sometimes I don’t know if I have much to offer to the blogging world. I don’t have the time and the brain power to write and to reflect on the issues of the day.
Here are a couple of thoughts I have kicked around these last few weeks. I have learned that I am a better pastor when I am practicing the art of being intentional with family, friends, and most of all church folks. When I was a youth growing up in a large church what I remember most about those who I considered mentors was the mere fact that they were always present. Presence is a gift and I can count at least a dozen folks who were very present in my life from youth leaders to youth pastors. These folks understood what it meant to be intentional.
As I got older I don’t think I ever got a phone call or a visit from any of my pastors. I don’t even remember getting a note. I do remember one of my pastors taking me out for a steak dinner to celebrate something. It was a great dinner. The steak was awesome and the potato was as big as my left foot. To be honest though I don’t remember the reason why we went out, I just remember that he was being intentional with me. I remember another pastor and his wife taking us out to dinner just as I was departing for seminary. We talked mostly about what it is like to be in ministry and the joys and struggles of being a pastor and for Debbie the joys and struggles of being a pastors wife. Again, don’t remember details, just remember that this pastor was intentional with us.
I remember another senior pastor I served with in New Jersey while I was in seminary. I was an intern and I had the chance to watch him from afar. He wasn’t the greatest at preaching. He wasn’t the most charismatic of persons. His gift was that he was intentional with those he pastored. He always remembered names. I remember one church member saying to me, ” We continue to come here because the pastor remembered our names.” The man actually helped the church through a building campaign and both he and an awesome associate pastor led the church with the gift of intentionality.
So? What am I learning right now in my life?
Be intentional.
It might be the best gift of bringing about peace and reconciliation to anything I will ever do as a pastor.
Word on the street?
It acutally works. Am I still growing? Will I forget what matters most to being a Christ follower especially a pastor when it comes to being intentional with those I’ve been called to pastor and lead? Yup! At least today it feels good to know that it does actually work.
For those of you who read my blog and who know me, you know my parents died several years ago. Over the years the Lord has blessed me with some wonderful surrogate parents who have helped shaped my faith in Christ and in many ways are the reason I do what I do now as a follower of Jesus, husband, father, and now a pastor.
Our friend Frank Frankman went to be with the Lord this past Thursday.
For Debbie and I Frank on more than one occasion cared for us in so many ways. His fatherly love and his heart for Jesus ministered to us and gave to us the peace of Christ. The kind of peace that encouraged us to not give up and to trust that the God of peace is what gives us strength to get through the best and worst of times.
What I loved about Frank was that he was a surrogate parent to Deb and me, he was a spiritual father, and for this we give thanks to God. My fondest memories of Frank were sitting in his home with Jane as they regularly welcomed young adults into their home from the church. I also remember receiving some of the biggest “Frank Frankman” hugs that were the kind of hugs that I so desired from my own father. They were the kinds of hugs that said, “man, I’m proud of you kid!”
What I truly remember about Frank is that every time he talked about me with my friends or people at church, I would always hear from my friends on how proud he was of me. And every time Debbie and I would see Frank he would make it a point to tell us how proud he was of us. This always gave me hope and encouraged me in so many ways. He was our cheerleader. He was one of our biggest fans in the kingdom. He even celebrated like a father would celebrate with his kids, when I told him I finally finished seminary and that I was becoming a Presbyterian minister. On more than one occasion he would tear up when he would talk with Deb and me about the joy he had for us.
Thank you God for our friend Frank. Although we grieve, we celebrate the life you now have with God Frank. We continue to pray for your bride Jane and for your kids. We thank you for loving us as Jesus loved us. Thank you for giving us your heart. And most of all thank you for being proud of me Frank! I love you brother!
I have been a poser of sorts when it comes to blogging for about 5 years now. I am an irregular blogger. My blogging has mostly been about reflections as a Pastor serving a congregation in the Presbyterian Church U.S.A. and about other things happening my life as a husband, married to Debbie for over 18 years and a father of three boys.
There are other pastors I know who are professional bloggers. I have no idea how they manage to keep up with the amount of time blogging requires. I have found with the recent facebook phenomenon over the last year that facebooking is much easier to keep up with in my life. I have found that my blogging goes in spurts.
Debbie was saying to me this morning that there are people who actually read my blog. So, as 2009 has taken off here are a couple of my hopes for the New Year:
1. As I hear stories of pastors who have placed their call to serve Christ and the church over their marriages and families I want to continue keeping what really matters most to me as a follower of Jesus close to my heart. One area that really matters most to me is my love for my wife. I often forget to give thanks to God for the gift of my wife who has been one of my biggest encouragements and who has always supported me in my call to serve as a Pastor. She has been a friend to me in the best and worst of times in my ministry and the Lord continues to use her not only as a loving and gifted mom of three very cool kids, but as a school teacher.
2. I have a pastor buddy who once said to me, “don’t make the same mistakes I made early on in my ministry as a pastor.” What he said to me spoke volumes not only in regards to my relationship with my wife, but with my relationships with our kids. I pray that I will continue to be available and present, ready to be dad for our kids and a Christ like father.
3. My hope is to continue growing in my preaching. I love preaching. My desire in 2009 is to continue to find balance in the midst of what is expected of me in the congregation I serve and in my personal study of God’s Word. With this desire I want to become more diligent in what I read professionally and personally.
4. I have talked to a respected friend about the possibility of receiving spiritual direction. I think this is an area in my life that I know I can benefit from in my personal life spiritually and professionally as I disciple folks.
5. I am currently working at a doctor of ministry degree. I hit a couple of bumps this past Summer when Deb was part of district and state wide teacher lay-offs due to the education budget cuts in California. I am currently gearing up to continue working on this very important part of my life and calling as a pastor when it comes to my education. I know this degree will be benefit me in many different areas of my ministry and in my call as a pastor over the next 5-10 years.
6. For over a year now I have been a little more attentive to my health. I have lost a bunch of weight because of some more regular excercise. I have also (Although the holidays kicked my butt) started paying attention to what I am eating. I am no use to my bride, my kids, or my church if I am a big pile of mush. So, 2009 I will continue in my pursuit of getting healthy!
So, for you 8 or so readers. Be thinking about what you might want to do in 2009. We do celebrate Epiphany this week. What will you be giving back to the Lord in 2009?
As I cruise the blogging scribbles of my colleagues and friends I have to confess that there was one blog today that caught my eye. Tod and his presbytery are in the midst of doing an interesting thing that you must watch and listen to as the larger church discerns what it means to becoming a missional community, doing the mission of God out in the world. I wonder if becoming a missional community means going to that one place in our lives that makes us feel most uncomfortable. Venturing out as Tod describes into “unchartered territory.”
