We finally saw the movie, “The Blind Side,” this past weekend. I have lots to say and little time to formulate. Although I never went on to become a start athlete, I will say that I resonate with the movie because if it weren’t for a few folks in my life as a youth who practiced what it meant to be the family of God, I would not be where I’m at today in my life as a follower of Jesus, husband, father, and pastor. Promise to blog some in a couple of days.

What makes me happy on my birthday? These guys do. I am grateful to God.

Disclaimer before I write anything else. I am fine. I love the Lord with all of my heart and soul, I love my wife Deb, and I continue to be blown away by how God continues to watch over our family. As for ministry I am blessed and I am grateful that God has given me the chance to serve as a pastor of a wonderful church with some wonderful folks. I am also grateful that God has opened up a door for me to serve as a part-time hospital chaplain while Debbie looks for a new teaching position. With that being said…

As I look at my life in a nutshell I have no complaints. I have been happily married to a wonderful and beautiful woman for almost 19 years. We get the God given honor of being able to raise some amazing kids. When it comes to lifes goals one sets, I browse through the last 40 years of my bookshelves of my heart and I must say I have met many of my goals. I also have many more to work on and I know God isn’t through with me when it comes to pastoral ministry and serving as a pastor. 

I turn 41 next week. Turning 40 was strange and I must say turning 41 is even stranger. I don’t feel that I’m a 41 year old although my body sometimes looks and feels like its 50. How do some of you older guys cope with this? Someone told me last year 40 is the new 27. How I wish! 

Over the next couple of weeks I will reflect on turning 41.

Let me say that as I think about turning 41 I have some mixed emotions. I am thrilled and at the same time I am beside myself that this train called “getting old,” is going way too fast.

I do know this…I am thankful…with joy and happiness I am thankful for what God has done for me. 

I give you these two folks who are just way too awesome and who are leading many in the kingdom to the throne of God. 

As I think about this post I just finished a long shift at the hospital doing chaplain things. I am exhausted and also grateful for the day I had. As I reflect on my day I think of a statement made by a friend of mine just recently about teaching the people of God to be missional. I am convinced that being missional isn’t something you can teach. Being missional is something you just do. How do you know your doing things missional? 

You’ll know. You’ll start hearing and seeing God work in ways you’ve never seen before. You become a risk taker. You start stepping outside of your box of naivete. When was the last time God kicked you out of your box for a moment just long enough to catch a glimpse of what the kingdom of God actually is about and looks like? 

Responding to the mission of God means finally saying with arms stretched out ,”Lord, here I am.” 

So? What’s keeping you?

I must confess I am not a blogger of worthy status. I admit I fell into the “fad” of blogging a few years ago and yes I do more on Facebook than blogging. Sometimes I don’t know if I have much to offer to the blogging world. I don’t have the time and the brain power to write and to reflect on the issues of the day.

Here are a couple of thoughts I have kicked around these last few weeks. I have learned that I am a better pastor when I am practicing the art of being intentional with family, friends, and most of all church folks. When I was a youth growing up in a large church what I remember most about those who I considered mentors was the mere fact that they were always present. Presence is a gift and I can count at least a dozen folks who were very present in my life from youth leaders to youth pastors. These folks understood what it meant to be intentional.

As I got older I don’t think I ever got a phone call or a visit from any of my pastors. I don’t even remember getting a note. I do remember one of my pastors taking me out for a steak dinner to celebrate something. It was a great dinner. The steak was awesome and the potato was as big as my left foot. To be honest though I don’t remember the reason why we went out, I just remember that he was being intentional with me. I remember another pastor and his wife taking us out to dinner just as I was departing for seminary. We talked mostly about what it is like to be in ministry and the joys and struggles of being a pastor and for Debbie the joys and struggles of being a pastors wife. Again, don’t remember details, just remember that this pastor was intentional with us.

I remember another senior pastor I served with in New Jersey while I was in seminary. I was an intern and I had the chance to watch him from afar. He wasn’t the greatest at preaching. He wasn’t the most charismatic of persons. His gift was that he was intentional with those he pastored. He always remembered names. I remember one church member saying to me, ” We continue to come here because the pastor remembered our names.” The man actually helped the church through a building campaign and both he and an awesome associate pastor led the church with the gift of intentionality.

So? What am I learning right now in my life?

Be intentional.

It might be the best gift of bringing about peace and reconciliation to anything I will ever do as a pastor.

Word on the street?

It acutally works. Am I still growing? Will I forget what matters most to being a Christ follower especially a pastor when it comes to being intentional with those I’ve been called to pastor and lead? Yup! At least today it feels good to know that it does actually work.

For those of you who read my blog and who know me, you know my parents died several years ago. Over the years the Lord has blessed me with some wonderful surrogate parents who have helped shaped my faith in Christ and in many ways are the reason I do what I do now as a follower of Jesus, husband, father, and now a pastor.

Our friend Frank Frankman went to be with the Lord this past Thursday.

For Debbie and I Frank on more than one occasion cared for us in so many ways. His fatherly love and his heart for Jesus ministered to us and gave to us the peace of Christ. The kind of peace that encouraged us to not give up and to trust that the God of peace is what gives us strength to get through the best and worst of times.

What I loved about Frank was that he was a surrogate parent to Deb and me, he was a spiritual father, and for this we give thanks to God. My fondest memories of Frank were sitting in his home with Jane as they regularly welcomed young adults into their home from the church. I also remember receiving some of the biggest “Frank Frankman” hugs that were the kind of hugs that I so desired from my own father. They were the kinds of hugs that said, “man, I’m proud of you kid!”

What I truly remember about Frank is that every time he talked about me with my friends or people at church, I would always hear from my friends on how proud he was of me. And every time Debbie and I would see Frank he would make it a point to tell us how proud he was of us. This always gave me hope and encouraged me in so many ways. He was our cheerleader. He was one of our biggest fans in the kingdom. He even celebrated like a father would celebrate with his kids, when I told him I finally finished seminary and that I was becoming a Presbyterian minister. On more than one occasion he would tear up when he would talk with Deb and me about the joy he had for us.

Thank you God for our friend Frank. Although we grieve, we celebrate the life you now have with God Frank. We continue to pray for your bride Jane and for your kids. We thank you for loving us as Jesus loved us. Thank you for giving us your heart. And most of all thank you for being proud of me Frank! I love you brother!

I have been a poser of sorts when it comes to blogging for about 5 years now. I am an irregular blogger. My blogging has mostly been about reflections as a Pastor serving a congregation in the Presbyterian Church U.S.A. and about other things happening my life as a husband, married to Debbie for over 18 years and a father of three boys.

There are other pastors I know who are professional bloggers. I have no idea how they manage to keep up with the amount of time blogging requires. I have found with the recent facebook phenomenon over the last year that facebooking is much easier to keep up with in my life. I have found that my blogging goes in spurts.

Debbie was saying to me this morning that there are people who actually read my blog. So, as 2009 has taken off here are a couple of my hopes for the New Year:

1. As I hear stories of pastors who have placed their call to serve Christ and the church over their marriages and families I want to continue keeping what really matters most to me as a follower of Jesus close to my heart. One area that really matters most to me is my love for my wife. I often forget to give thanks to God for the gift of my wife who has been one of my biggest encouragements and who has always supported me in my call to serve as a Pastor. She has been a friend to me in the best and worst of times in my ministry and the Lord continues to use her not only as a loving and gifted mom of three very cool kids, but as a school teacher.

2. I have a pastor buddy who once said to me, “don’t make the same mistakes I made early on in my ministry as a pastor.” What he said to me spoke volumes not only in regards to my relationship with my wife, but with my relationships with our kids. I pray that I will continue to be available and present, ready to be dad for our kids and a Christ like father.

3. My hope is to continue growing in my preaching. I love preaching. My desire in 2009 is to continue to find balance in the midst of what is expected of me in the congregation I serve and in my personal study of God’s Word. With this desire I want to become more diligent in what I read professionally and personally.

4. I have talked to a respected friend about the possibility of receiving spiritual direction. I think this is an area in my life that I know I can benefit from in my personal life spiritually and professionally as I disciple folks.

5. I am currently working at a doctor of ministry degree. I hit a couple of bumps this past Summer when Deb was part of district and state wide teacher lay-offs due to the education budget cuts in California. I am currently gearing up to continue working on this very important part of my life and calling as a pastor when it comes to my education. I know this degree will be benefit me in many different areas of my ministry and in my call as a pastor over the next 5-10 years.

6. For over a year now I have been a little more attentive to my health. I have lost a bunch of weight because of some more regular excercise. I have also (Although the holidays kicked my butt) started paying attention to what I am eating. I am no use to my bride, my kids, or my church if I am a big pile of mush. So, 2009 I will continue in my pursuit of getting healthy!

So, for you 8 or so readers. Be thinking about what you might want to do in 2009. We do celebrate Epiphany this week. What will you be giving back to the Lord in 2009?

May it be so Lord!

As I cruise the blogging scribbles of my colleagues and friends I have to confess that there was one blog today that caught my eye. Tod and his presbytery are in the midst of doing an interesting thing that you must watch and listen to as the larger church discerns what it means to becoming a missional community, doing the mission of God out in the world.  I wonder if becoming a missional community means going to that one place in our lives that makes us feel most uncomfortable. Venturing out as Tod describes into “unchartered territory.”

Had a good time at PGF this past week. Got to spend some time with old friends from seminary. Lots of Princeton folks which was cool. Saw some friends that I haven’t seen since graduation. Also got to see some buddies from my home church. As for the content of the week I was glad I was present. The one person that I actually was looking forward to hearing was Rick Warren. I guess something happened and he wasn’t able to attend. I actually think he was sitting in his back yard hanging with his pals Obama and McCain. (Just kidding) Alan Hirsch was what I thought he’d be. My favorite Hirsch quote was, “You Presbyterians are in trouble because you have defined yourselves by your structure.”I’ve heard Labberton before and wish I could some how steal just a small bit of his brain for my preaching every Sunday.

Went to the Michael Walker seminars on whether or not one can still be faithful in the PCUSA. I really appreciated his work and his willingness to help folks find some kind of balance. Even after this conference, I know in all of my heart as a follower of Jesus, a Christian, and a pastor that I still can be faithful to the call God has placed on my heart to those I minister to, with, and alongside. It broke my heart to hear the pain this past week that many are feeling and I only pray that they continue to find the answers they are looking for in deciding whether one can still be faithful in light of the denominational things that are happening and have been happening for a long time.

As for the missional stuff during the conference? Nothing new in some ways for me. I think folks don’t realize that they have been doing things missional for most of their lives as followers of Jesus. The church I still love to this day and where I came to know Christ in as a youth was a missional body long before the word became a BUZZ word dropped over a latte discussing missional things in the church. I laughed with a friend a couple of weeks ago when she said, “The church we were part of for years, just wasn’t smart enough to label what they were doing for the kingdom of God in the City as missional.”

My fear with the whole missional thing of recent is that I start to check out when I hear it being discussed and talked about. One church this past week mentioned something about going to Tijuana and building homes. No doubt this has made an impact on the people of God. How about adopting a neighborhood church in their own city and walking alongside that church in their own work as a missional body that strives to empower and equip the people of God to becoming a sent community? How about coming alongside a city church, one breath away from death and helping them find their kingdom concept (My new buzz word I learned this week) and helping them move from survival to helping them  as people of God accept their niche, their place in the City as a church that might not be the church it once was, but a church that is living out their faith and proclaiming God’s grace to those in need of grace. Let’s stop spending money on learning about being missional and lets just do what we’ve always been doing in the kingdom of God here on earth. And the funny thing is that there are churches who are doing and living a missional life and still haven’t figured it out.

I’m the result of a church being missional. I’m confident that Jesus loves me and that it is his grace in my life that gives me strength to BE in the world doing the mission of God.

All in all? A nice time to be away. Do I have answers yet? No, but I still proclaim GOOD NEWS. News that needs to be shared. News that sometimes is awesome to hear and yet sometimes hard to hear. News that is radical and should make us feel uncomfortable. News that calls the church to WAKE UP!

My preaching professor in seminary once said, “preaching is sometimes making the people of God feel uncomfortable. You might not be preaching if you’re not moving them to a place of responding to God’s call to GO and do something with what they have heard.” (My paraphrase)

Watched the ABC special on Randy Pausch tonight.

I learned something tonight again from the guy.

I have nothing to complain about.  

I Learned a new way to preach from Randy tonight.

“Do not tell people how to live their lives. Just tell them stories. And they will figure out how those stories apply to them.”

I pray that I can be half the husband, father, and man he was.