We did something that we haven’t done for a long time. Okay? Never. We went on a cruise. It wasn’t a huge trip. Only to Ensenada. Royal Caribbean does a decent job. As for Ensenada, nothing to write home about. It was neat in that we did the cruise with some really good friends from an old fellowship group we were part of years ago. As for Mexico, It was different being on the tourist end of things. A little awkward in some ways. Every trip I’ve taken to Mexico has been involved with the church, responsible for a youth group, helping try to provide an experience that God would use to open their eyes to something new about the world down the street from us. As for the cruise? It was neat having a weekend away from kids and to spend some time with the wifey. Although we missed them tremendously. As for taking another Ensenada cruise? Maybe somewhere else next time.  Will post a pick or two soon. Got to kick it into church mode.

For a second year as a solo pastor I’ve had the opportunity to participate in a Seder Dinner sponsored by one of our families at church. Has to be my favorite event all year long and is a wonderful experience in preparing for this weekend in reflecting on what was accomplished for us on the cross by Christ and what was fulfilled for us on the day of Resurrection. Although the worship, the breaking of bread in the midst of community, the silence, the Word read and spoken were all reminders of grace, I felt though as if my soul was caught in the middle of a good ol’ fashion “tug of war.”

What was frustrating tonight as a pastor and I wonder if other pastors have felt the same, was the tension of wanting to be one hundred percent available and present for the congregation I serve not only as a pastor, but also being available and present as a husband and father for my wife and and kids. Let me explain. I really wanted to be cloned this evening and couldn’t because two of our three blessings of children had prior engagements. The middle dude had a baseball game and the older dude had a dessert where he was receiving an award for getting all A’s this last semester in his last last year of middle school. (The coveted Principals List for getting a 4.0.)

Anyways, Thanks to mom for juggling the rides and video taping the A list event and still having time to see the last half of the game. I wasn’t able to make these events. I tried but arrived at the field as they were turning off the lights. What was frustrating and it really is the first time I’ve gone through this as a solo pastor was that I wondered why Little League baseball and a public middle school had events scheduled during a week that the larger religious community sees as vital to their own faith journey. I wondered if there were other families and persons who felt the tension that I felt. I guess it didn’t seem right that there even needed to be a choice. Again, proud of them both. Just wish I could have been able to be at all three events, all important to my own walk with Christ.

I keep getting these side gigs at my wife’s school. Meet Geronimo Stilton…

Again, this is what happens when you’re married to a first grade public school teacher. The number of babies and kinder kids I scared was concerning. I did get some compliments and folks thought I was Arthur. Anyways, it’s for the kids! Of course T-bone was my escort and helped me walk around the school because I couldn’t see where I was going with the big mouse head. The coordinator said she was already thinking of my next gig and I told her that I’m getting an agent.

Humbled I am.

 [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGCJ46vyR9o]

 ht: Steve

Served with a pastor way back when who I grabbed this high & low idea from.

My high for the day…

222.8 with socks on and 222.6 without socks

down from 236 with clothes on. hehe.

My low for the day…

We went to our first IB high school informational meeting for our oldest last night. Yes I’m thrilled that he will be in high school. And yes I’m counting the days until he leaves for college. But yes I am missing the days when I used to carry the kiddoe on my back in one of those, “daddy I can at least carry him on my back, back pack thingy’s.”

The kiddoe can carry me now.

Back to work!

I’ve finally begun some much needed reading for a class I’m taking in March called Managing Conflict at Fuller. I’ve started with a book on church conflict using Bowen’s family systems theory approach to understanding how to deal with conflict in the church looking at the church as a family unit. Interesting thought and makes understanding how to deal with conflict when it arises a bit more manageable in the church by looking at the whole church as one big family. I’m really looking forward to the class and I’m hoping to gain some insight in managing conflict especially knowing that anyone in ministry will encounter conflict often and that it’s unavoidable.

It was sometime in the 70’s when the Broadway Department Store was still around at Hollywood and Vine. There was a little department store called JJ Newberrys right next door. Mom would take us kids to JJ Newberrys to go shopping. I don’t remember why. I’m guessing it was for school stuff and clothes. Layaway was a big thing for mom. She could go in, drop some cash on the counter, and in a few weeks, be able to buy what we needed. Zodi’s was her other favorite store for layaway stuff. I remember the JJ Newberrys trip like it was yesterday. My two brothers and I sitting at the little old fashion coffee shop counter right in JJ Newberrys eating a scoop of ice cream in those little silver bowls. The lady behind the counter in that old traditional waitress outfit.

Remember Swensens Ice Cream? Another spot on the boulevard where father and mother would take us when cash was available. I think it was at Whitley and Hollywood Blvd. The pictures I received had some photos of my father carrying some ice cream sundaes to our table. As I look through the pictures and the memories from growing up in Hollywood, I find solace in knowing that both of my parents did their best in spite of their own issues. Although dad was a walking Budweiser can and mother had her issues, they both tried their best. I remember a conversation with dad later on before he died. We talked about the church in that he felt if we got connected to the church, somehow we’d be okay. When Mr. Young invited us, it was an opportunity for the church to intervene and they did. In dad’s view he couldn’t do what a father was supposed to do. He felt that if the church could do its work something might happen.

Well? It did.

Thank you dad.

Okay. Another picture. Looks like my mom finally got a clue and cut my hair minus the “bang.”

Man. It seems like just yesterday. To be in 6th grade again.

I mentioned that some photo albums have come back to jolt my memory of what it was like to grow up as a kid especially in a place like Hollywood. It made me dig deep and some of the pictures I remember like yesterday, others I can’t remember and want to remember badly.

I can tell you this much. I miss my mom. I miss my dad. I miss my brothers. In spite of the joys and struggles of growing up in an interesting family unit I still miss them and thank God for the chance to have had a family. Even if it was just for a few years. Although I’d love to throw them and hang them from their toes and pull each of their nose hairs out one by one I am grateful that they did their best as parents.

Each picture tells a story. Each picture has a memory. Some are goofy.

Others I’d love to hide for a long time. What was neat was watching our boys pour through the pictures. Our oldest who sports the stache and some much cooler long hair said, “dad you look like a coconut head.”

I hope to find some time to blog about some of the pictures I found. It might actually be healing in some ways.

Anyways, enjoy the picture!

Almost ten years ago my mom died in a car accident. Her husband emailed me yesterday and said he had some of my moms things.

What he didn’t tell me was that he had some jewels.

The brothers wahe…

Five albums worth of jewels.

Can’t express in words the pictures I’ve seen and the memories that have all of sudden appeared that I either thought I dealt with in therapy or pushed far back enough into the closets of time that I didn’t need to really deal with.

Phew.

Praise God for pictures though!