My birthday week is coming to an end and I must say after all of the blubbering I’m still standing. I am humbled by the mere fact that God continues to bless me. My bride of eighteen years, our three sons, and my call by God to serve as a pastor are all simple reminders of God’s abundant grace. Even in the midst of my wife being one of many public school teachers looking for employment due to state wide budget cuts and her job search, we continue to see God at work in our lives. What we’re going through is nothing compared to so many others in our churches and communities. Then I was reminded again about this guy who passed away this week and who gave a famous lecture last year about the importance of celebrating life. If not for anyone else, his lecture gives me a whole new perspective on turning 40.  

God is always at work. I affirm this with all of my heart. I believe God is still working in my life and the feeling is surreal as I think about this post. Some of these thoughts aren’t really new to some of you. I’ve shared in previous posts these reflections.

This post is unique.

A very long time ago I wondered upon the campus of a church that I’ve come to love very much. It’s my home away from home. I’ve always loved this church. It’s composed of people who’ve become some of our dearest friends.

There are people in this church who have no clue and don’t even realize how much of an impact they’ve made on my life for Christ. I am a follower of Jesus, husband, father, and pastor because of how some of these people were used in my life by Christ.

When I was a Jr. High kid there were two places I could be found.

The boulevard or at church.

This past Wednesday I had an experience that was so surreal that I felt I was in a scene out of the matrix. It happened again on Friday and even on Saturday morning.

I dropped my kids off with some friends of theirs at this church for a youth group function.  At this church there is a room where the youth function took place. This room always takes me back to my life as a kiddoe.

This room was where I learned from folks that I was loved and valued by Christ.

It was a room where I learned how to play guitar and lead worship. It was a room where I earned a Holy Land coin from my 7th grade Sunday school teacher if I memorized scripture. It was a room where I heard good news as a youth that Jesus loved me and would be faithful in the midst of the joys and struggles of life. It was even the room where I served with my wife in ministry prior to us getting married, helping her run an after school children’s program for the neighborhood.

This week our two boys got introduced to this room. They were introduced to people who continue the vision of loving kids and giving Jesus to them by showing them simple acts of kindness. Seeds of faith planted into their hearts.

As I drove off after dropping them off, I couldn’t help but remember the emptiness I had as a kid not having parents who were available and who showed up as parents. As I drove off I was overwhelmed with God’s blessing that although I didn’t have my parents, that I had the church, the kingdom of God here on earth filing that hole in my heart. As I drove off I was tickled pink that my wife and I get to be parents of some awesome gifts from upon high. As I drove off, I felt grateful that the Lord of the universe, through the work of the church, saved my life. And as I drove off I was overwhelmed with joy that the seeds of faith that were planted in my heart as a youth, were being planted and rooted in the hearts of our kids. Seeds of faith that I took from people who loved me and that we gave and still give and will give to our kids as parents.

And it all began in that room in 1982.

Surreal.

Promotion complete. High School here we come.

I don’t profess to being mr. blogger extraordinaire. I started blogging because it was a way to stay connected with friends in ministry and to dump as much Christ like wisdom from folks much wiser and seasoned into my brain to assist me in following Jesus. I also started blogging to keep connected with those I ministered to and with in youth ministry. It was a way for me to have a pinky within culture and stay connected with what was happening in the world of students. I must confess that something I fear in blogging is that if I dump to much here that it would not add to the kingdom. I also must confess that I’ve always been insecure with my writing. One of my professors in seminary once said to me, “Kevin, you write like you talk.” Writing is something I’ve had to work on for a bunch of years and by God’s grace I’m still growing in the areas of writing. I guess you can say that I’m still looking for my niche in the blogosphere.

What’s on my mind tonight?

• My wife is eagerly waiting for a phone call from any school district within a 60 mile radius to find a teaching position for the fall school year. If you’re up to date with Southern California stuff, you know that my wife along with hundreds of other teachers are part of some educational budget cuts.
• Our kids are “promoting.” One is going to high school and the other is going into jr. high. I’m not ready. I’ve blinked and they’re longer in pre-school. I miss the days of pre-school and happy meals. I also praise God for our kids. They’re awesome students and have made us proud! 4.0’s baby! What a way to begin Jr. High and High School. They get their smart stuff from mommy way cool.
• Like every other pastor I worry about church stuff. I worry about budget stuff. Our leaders are trying to figure out how to do ministry with an awesome church in the midst of a struggling economy. We’re wondering what our “thing” is supposed to be in the 21st century.
• I’m worried about a paper I have to start writing for school.

There you have it! As honest as I can be and still growing and being transformed. Trusting in God and trying to be still.

Something hard to do in the midst of life’s journey as a follower of Jesus.

Our three kids rock in so many ways. Each have their own gifts and talents and get their smart stuff from my bride. Here’s something that happened last Friday as I was traveling down to Del Mar to rock out with Skillet and hang with the youth group:

Our boy making us proud. It’s only the beginning.

Hung out with one of our sons tonight watching his baseball game. Something I know I didn’t see from my dad. It’s a treat for me that I get to do these things with our kids. Being a dad trumps so many other things. It’s a gift from God to be able to share with my wife in the role of parenting. Tonight, the boy got a solid outfield hit and got someone out on a throw he made from right field to second base which ended the inning. Made me proud. On the way home we had a good talk about the game and how he felt really good about what he contributed to the game. He says, “I really needed that hit, because he’s had a slow season at the plate. As we talked some more, the topic came up about who got the game ball AGAIN. Kids at this level are so used to getting a game ball from the younger leagues that it becomes the “ata boy,” of the day. I sensed his frustration about how some of the same kids keep getting game balls, some have gotten them at least twice, maybe even three times. And in the coaches defense, the game ball is sometimes the accolade a boy needs to encourage a kid. So, don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a problem with the game ball concept for now. Anyways, as I drove my boy home and as my heart broke as I listened to his frustration of, “how does one earn a game ball,” my fatherly words of wisdom that flowed from my mouth, sounded like cheese whiz on crackers. We talked about the “ata boys and accolades of life” and how when God sends you an ”ata boy,” it comes when you at least expect it. And my boys response to my cheese whiz? “Just like that hit I got.”

I think he got it.  

I’ve seen Steven Curtis Chapman on more than one occasion lead the people of God into worship. It breaks my heart to hear of his loss. Prayers for the Chapman family tonight.

(Last years Third Day Concert in Del Mar) Steve has his Coachella koo koo festival and a whole lot of youth groups this weekend from all over California will have Spirit West Coast Del Mar. Mind you there a couple of the bands that are just way to loud for me and I can’t understand the lyrics in my old age. The idea of a mosh pit scares the poop out of me and I’d be happy hanging watching Jars of Clay and Third Day all day long. But for some reason God moves and groves in the pit of mosh. Anyways, a bunch of us from the Antelope Valley and Littlerock will be cruising down to Del Mar for a weekend get away to worship God and to build some relationships with some really cool youth. Say a pray for us and especially for some of mi familia as they will be in another part of the country hanging with relatives.

For close to 15 years my wife has worked in public education. She’s taught in public schools both here in California and in New Jersey. She’s an awesome elementary school teacher and God has blessed her with a tremendous amount of gifts when it comes to teaching. Both parents and children have been impacted by her teaching. I’ve witnessed first hand her teaching abilities in the classroom.

Over the last several months one of the hot topics in California has been public education and the budget cuts that have and will take place all over the state. We’ve seen this before and have heard about the cuts over the years. She’s always been safe from any district budget cuts until this year of course. My wife and at least 58 other teachers in her district have been issued pink slips. I know there are other districts that are also issuing pink slips.

You never think about the possibility of loosing your job until it happens to you. I think that’s what’s exhausting. It becomes real when your one of the ones facing the possibility of unemployment for whatever reasons. What’s even harder not only for my wife, but for others, is that there are some really good teachers who care about the promises they made to themselves and to the kids and parents they serve every day that when they come to work that they are more than just prepared to teach; that they’re ready to make a difference in a child’s life.

When we relocated back to So. Cal we very much trusted that God would provide for our family. Even before we made the move back my wife was hired by the school district she currently teaches in. This is how we knew that we possibly were making the right decision to come back home. God has always been at the helm of any transition we’ve been part of over the years. Every move we’ve made my wife has been blessed with a teaching position or other employment. This is how I know that she’s more than just a gifted teacher. This is also why we aren’t stressing yet. Although tempting.

Faith is more than our bandage right now. It’s our strength. It’s always been our strength. And with the given events in the other parts of the world like Myanmar and the loss and suffering that others are enduring in our own country in the mid-west, because of weather it puts things in perspective. It keeps me from making this post all about the issues and politics at hand especially when it comes to public education right now. It keeps me from thinking of the worst case scenarios for myself in my current call as a pastor and for my family.

My prayer for those who teach and who’ve been affected by the state wide budget cuts is that you will find the strength and hope needed that God will provide for you as God has provided always for my wife and family. My prayer is also that those who’ve been called to make the tough decisions will listen to God and will take into account all of the scenarios not only for those who are good at what they do as teachers who will eventually find new employment, but the kids and parents who were looking forward and hoping to have the best of the best teachers who do more than just teach. Parents and kids who were looking forward to the blessing of being blessed by teachers who care about making a difference in a child’s life.

Happy Cinco De Mayo!