Pastoral Care
This afternoon I officiated a memorial service and a graveside service for a woman in her late 80’s. It was a small service with a few friends and close family members. Betty Mae died unexpectedly before Thanksgiving. Her husband Wayne is a wonderful man and a Christ follower and gave his life to caring for his wife in her last years on this earth.
After the graveside service Wayne approached me and shook my hand. “That was the best sermon I’ve ever heard at a funeral.”
My mouth dropped to the ground.
Of course I responded with a hardy, “thank you and it was my honor to help share in the celebration of his wife’s life and the gift she was to so many.”
The best sermon ever?
The hour and a half prior to the services I had trouble printing my inserts for my little black book with my service notes. I had to buy a new pair of Khaki’s because I am a nimrod and haven’t made time to take my clothes to the cleaners. I had to talk with the painters who are painting the church and I was showing someone where all of the Advent and Christmas decorations were stored for Advent which starts in the morning. I even met briefly with an old pastor friend who happened to be driving back to Sacramento with his family who happened to be passing through.
Best sermon ever? I don’t know what I did differently from any other memorial service or graveside service. The only thing I can think of was that I took the time to visit with him this past week for about an hour and learned about the life his wife lived and the lives they lived together in their community. Maybe it was listening to the stories on how they met and the work he did as a Lockheed employee and she did in a biscuit factory back when there were “biscuit factories.” Maybe it was the conversations we both had on the phone the day after Betty Mae passed away. Or maybe it was the conversation we had on his front lawn about his neighborhood. Best sermon ever? I don’t know and I only hope I proclaimed Christ’s love, the good news of the resurrection, and helped bring encouragement to a community who was grieving the loss of a loved one, a spouse, a mother, and a friend.
I did what I hope someone will one day do for me when it comes to pastoral care. Be available, listen, and imitate Christ’s love in the midst of ones pain and suffering. If I were to convey my own vision for pastoral care, it is simply coming alongside the people of God in a way that makes them feel accepted, cared for, and welcomed into the message of “Good News.” So accepted that even if you feel like your sermon blew chunks of mush, that the message of Christ’s love is heard loud and clear and gives one hope that one can continue to live and still be able to give something to the kingdom of God even in the midst of life’s challenges.
