God is always at work. I affirm this with all of my heart. I believe God is still working in my life and the feeling is surreal as I think about this post. Some of these thoughts aren’t really new to some of you. I’ve shared in previous posts these reflections.
This post is unique.
A very long time ago I wondered upon the campus of a church that I’ve come to love very much. It’s my home away from home. I’ve always loved this church. It’s composed of people who’ve become some of our dearest friends.
There are people in this church who have no clue and don’t even realize how much of an impact they’ve made on my life for Christ. I am a follower of Jesus, husband, father, and pastor because of how some of these people were used in my life by Christ.
When I was a Jr. High kid there were two places I could be found.
The boulevard or at church.
This past Wednesday I had an experience that was so surreal that I felt I was in a scene out of the matrix. It happened again on Friday and even on Saturday morning.
I dropped my kids off with some friends of theirs at this church for a youth group function. At this church there is a room where the youth function took place. This room always takes me back to my life as a kiddoe.
This room was where I learned from folks that I was loved and valued by Christ.
It was a room where I learned how to play guitar and lead worship. It was a room where I earned a Holy Land coin from my 7th grade Sunday school teacher if I memorized scripture. It was a room where I heard good news as a youth that Jesus loved me and would be faithful in the midst of the joys and struggles of life. It was even the room where I served with my wife in ministry prior to us getting married, helping her run an after school children’s program for the neighborhood.
This week our two boys got introduced to this room. They were introduced to people who continue the vision of loving kids and giving Jesus to them by showing them simple acts of kindness. Seeds of faith planted into their hearts.
As I drove off after dropping them off, I couldn’t help but remember the emptiness I had as a kid not having parents who were available and who showed up as parents. As I drove off I was overwhelmed with God’s blessing that although I didn’t have my parents, that I had the church, the kingdom of God here on earth filing that hole in my heart. As I drove off I was tickled pink that my wife and I get to be parents of some awesome gifts from upon high. As I drove off, I felt grateful that the Lord of the universe, through the work of the church, saved my life. And as I drove off I was overwhelmed with joy that the seeds of faith that were planted in my heart as a youth, were being planted and rooted in the hearts of our kids. Seeds of faith that I took from people who loved me and that we gave and still give and will give to our kids as parents.
I watched the bucket list tonight. It was very appropriate for where I’m at in my ministry right now. My congregation is letting me serve as an on-call chaplain on the side to help on a temporary basis as my wife is unemployed right now as a public school teacher due to some state wide budget cuts. On call simply means that if a chaplain can’t work a shift at the hospital that I could pick up some hours when called upon. It’s a lot like a substitute teaching gig. I can say no. And I can say yes.
The movie reminded me of my experience serving as a chaplain while in seminary. I served in an oncology unit in Langhorne, PA. Candidates for ministry are required to complete a unit of clinical pastoral education as part of the ordination process within the PCUSA. It was six weeks of intense ministry, training, and supervision in pastoral care not just for those I ministered alongside with and to in a hospital setting, but it was training for my soul in the way I encounter, confront, and handle everyday issues within the church and in our world.
I learned more about pastoral care and the role of the pastor in walking alongside someone in their pain and suffering for those six weeks than I ever did while in seminary for 3 years in my pastoral care classes.
I know this much. If I’m ever confronted with a life threatening illness that my bucket list is huge. Huge. Huge.
Have you ever wished that you could rewind your day by just ten minutes? Day started off pretty well. Began with a trip to the gym which has been a blessing to me in disguise. Proceeded to drop something off for my wife at her classroom. Next stop? The neighborhood watering hole for my daily cafe misto. I caught a glimpse of the paper and read the fear and concern that the Laker’s could be eating humble pie. Exited the watering hole to my car. Got in my car and slowly backed out into a beautiful little sports car driven by a college kid who happened to park his car against an Island in the parking lot (right behind me of course). The day continued with a joyful trip to an awards ceremony for our 8th grader who received a couple of awards that made me want to shout and scream with praise. He received some kind of Presidents Achievement Merit Award thingy and some award with a 4.0 on it. The awards ceremony trumped my little morning dance with a sports car at Starbucks. Praising God for the kiddoes. Finished the day with some phone calls, a brief meeting, and a trip to the hospital to do a visitation, and a really yummy carnitas burrito from the near by greasy spoon Mexican food restaurant.
Still running with my eyes to the sky! It’s just one of those days.
I don’t profess to being mr. blogger extraordinaire. I started blogging because it was a way to stay connected with friends in ministry and to dump as much Christ like wisdom from folks much wiser and seasoned into my brain to assist me in following Jesus. I also started blogging to keep connected with those I ministered to and with in youth ministry. It was a way for me to have a pinky within culture and stay connected with what was happening in the world of students. I must confess that something I fear in blogging is that if I dump to much here that it would not add to the kingdom. I also must confess that I’ve always been insecure with my writing. One of my professors in seminary once said to me, “Kevin, you write like you talk.” Writing is something I’ve had to work on for a bunch of years and by God’s grace I’m still growing in the areas of writing. I guess you can say that I’m still looking for my niche in the blogosphere.
What’s on my mind tonight?
My wife is eagerly waiting for a phone call from any school district within a 60 mile radius to find a teaching position for the fall school year. If you’re up to date with Southern California stuff, you know that my wife along with hundreds of other teachers are part of some educational budget cuts.
Our kids are “promoting.” One is going to high school and the other is going into jr. high. I’m not ready. I’ve blinked and they’re longer in pre-school. I miss the days of pre-school and happy meals. I also praise God for our kids. They’re awesome students and have made us proud! 4.0′s baby! What a way to begin Jr. High and High School. They get their smart stuff from mommy way cool.
Like every other pastor I worry about church stuff. I worry about budget stuff. Our leaders are trying to figure out how to do ministry with an awesome church in the midst of a struggling economy. We’re wondering what our “thing” is supposed to be in the 21st century.
I’m worried about a paper I have to start writing for school.
There you have it! As honest as I can be and still growing and being transformed. Trusting in God and trying to be still.
Something hard to do in the midst of life’s journey as a follower of Jesus.
